MONDAY DELIVERY: Goodwill Cookie and the Second-Hand Starters

The Cleveland Guardians are a major league quality starting pitcher factory from the minor leagues on up. But, boy, do they also like a deal more than the Black Friday shoppers in the movie Thanksgiving. ((Surprisingly solid horror comedy from 2023, 6/10, watch it if you’re bored and you miss Patrick Dempsey.)) Whatever magic or mechanics the Guardians teach to their young pitchers, more and more churn into the majors, ready to contribute, and sometimes dominate. Their best works have been turning low-graded-stuff draft picks into studs like Shane Bieber and Triston McKenzie and high K-rate flawed castoffs into Cy Young candidates, like Mike Clevinger and Corey Kluber.However, just like for every draft pick that turns into Bieber many turn into Jeremy Sowers ((and for every 2010 Fausto Carmona, there are Roberto Hernandez seasons)), for every big hit from the bargain bin of free agency, there are a few misses. Kevin Millwood came to Cleveland in 2005 on a one-year, $7 million ((Wouldn’t we have had some joy if they spent that kind of money on a player this year, much less almost 20 years ago?)) deal to prove himself after a couple of lesser years in Philadelphia. He turned that into an ERA title and a four-year deal with the Rangers. Scott Kazmir went from out of baseball to reviving his career in 2013 with the Indians. But also in 2013, Cleveland spent another $7 million on a starter, Brett Myers, who started 3 games for the team, finished one out of the bullpen, put up an 8.02 ERA, and was released at age 32, never to be heard from in the MLB again, just like Bertram Grover Weeks, the second baseman from The Sandlot who got really into the 60’s. (That epilogue story really did him wrong. Everyone else got small, yet epic, tales!) ((Zack Meisel has a funny story about how Brett Myers brought a guitar to keep in his locker that he never saw Myers play, and was left behind after he was released.)) In 2015, Bruce Chen also gave Cleveland his last year in the majors, with 2 starts and an ERA over 12. Gavin Floyd had his second to last year here that same season and no starts. Same with Derek Lowe, who got his last starts in 2012 with Cleveland before coming out of the bullpen elsewhere for his finale, 2013.From this mixed bag, the 2024 Guardians reached in and pulled something out that’s a little deeper than a pitcher looking for a bounce-back or a last gasp of major league life. They found themselves a Cookie. On February 1st, Cleveland signed Carlos Carrasco to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring Training. If he makes the roster, he’ll make $2 million with another $2 million available for start bonuses. Carrasco was everything for Cleveland from his major league debut in 2009 to when he was traded with Frankie Lindor after the 2020 season: A highly-touted prospect included in a trade for Cy Young winner Cliff Lee, a struggling youngster, a hothead that was suspended for headhunting with his heater, a failed-starter-turned-reliever, a redemption project forced back into starting, a Cy Young candidate, a cancer survivor, a great teammate. In fact, the only thing he has surprisingly never been is an All-Star, despite accumulating over 200 Ks three times and leading the majors in wins in 2017. ((A silly stat, but still one All-Star voters have looked at in the past.)) That 2019 All-Star Game moment when Cookie was placed with his teammates and the Cleveland crowd was there to cheer him on, followed by Carrasco returning to the field later that same season to come out of the bullpen is the stuff we watch sports for: overcoming obstacles and standing together against all challenges. We as fans got to watch a person grow and go through so much more than just baseball, and he wanted to be here through it all. The expectations for Carrasco should be low, as he was another late offseason bargain bin pickup by Cleveland. Even he wasn’t sure about pitching again this season after struggling with the Mets in 2021 and 2023 with injuries and ineffectiveness, sporting an ERA over 6 both years, with a solid 3.97 ERA in 29 starts the year in between. Carrasco himself has said he wasn’t sure if he would keep pitching, but he would try as long as the fastball velocity was still there. In 2015, Cookie was in the 84th percentile in all of baseball in fastball velocity. In 2023, that was down to the 24th, hovering around a 92 mph average. But then he spent some time working at the Driveline Academy this offseason and flashed 95-96 on the heater in a workout. There’s almost no way the Guardians are going to count on anything major from Cookie this year, but how fun would it be if they found one last bit of lightning in that bottle?Now, we can’t forget that Cleveland often double-dips on these, so like in 2013 and 2015, 2024 features not only Cookie but major-league-contract Ben Lively, who I can only assume is brought in to take a role similar to Xzavion Curry out of the bullpen last year. That could be a competition in camp, which of Lively or Carrasco would be the long man/spot starter coming out of Spring Training. Hopefully, they both provide more than Touki Toussaint did for the team in 2023, with only one spot start made before he moved on to the White Sox for 19 more appearances, including 15 starts. I find it hard to believe, however, that if Carlos Carrasco still has some juice left in his fastball, and he’s healthy, he won’t make the initial 26-man roster. The pitcher still could be good, the story is great, and the person is an excellent addition to a clubhouse with a rookie manager. He always said he wanted to retire in Cleveland, now instead of a symbolic one-day contract, he has a chance for a last hurrah on the mound. Welcome home, Cookie. AT THE MOVIES: 2023 from the CrowdI’ve been gestating a take that movie theaters are the greatest form of art in human history. It’s got visuals, motion, music, the taste and smells of popcorn. Even when a movie is bad, it can be great, and the theater experience only amplifies all of that. Seeing movies with a crowd hits different. So here are my top 10 2023 movies I saw in a theater, with a brief description of why the crowd mattered.

• 10. Ferrari: Saw it in a theater by myself, still loved the movie, but also texted my friends during it. Hate having my phone out at movies, but it was lonely in there.
• 9. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: A hilarious time laughing with a medium audience and a best friend. I have no idea why this movie wasn’t a bigger hit. GO WATCH THIS SO THEY’LL MAKE ANOTHER ONE.
• 8. The Iron Claw: First big cry of the list. A small crowd, but everyone got the tears at some point, including a friend who had to have a sob break towards the end. Good bro cry in public!
• 7. Asteroid City: Saw at a matinee PACKED with old people, they were not as excited about any of it as much as I was. Weird movie about a play within a movie about making movies, still a good watch at home alone.
• 6. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3: The MCU still has some juice left (I liked The Marvels!), but this was the end of an era movie. Saw it twice, packed house both times, again cried. 
• 5. Killer of the Flower Moon: POWERFUL movie, saw it on a date with another movie nerd. Would like to have seen what kind of crowd would sit through and what they would get, but we were the only two in the theater. No, we didn’t do anything, you sickos.
• 4. The Boy and the Heron: Could not believe I saw this with a sold-out theater audience, could not believe this was the number 1 movie in America for a week. Beautiful, thoughtful, but you know that with Miyazaki. Come back for one more, please.
• 3. Barbie: I did the Barbenheimer double feature, saw this second with like a half-hour break in between. Packed house, lots of juice for the movie, but then my audience didn’t seem to know when to laugh. Or they didn’t like the references as much as I did. Accidentally bought a ticket in the middle of a family taking the entire rest of the row. They welcomed me in and even said goodbye after the movie. Hope you had a good time, Summers family. Greta Gerwig rules, go watch her Little Women.
• 2. Wonka: Went alone, but was between a couple on a date and a family with young kids. Everyone had a great time, but I had to bite my finger to not sob towards the end because I didn’t wanna be a weird loser crying by himself in the theater. (I’m a big softy, so what, wanna fight about it?) Glad this was the family hit it became! Still in theaters, go see it!
• 1. Oppenheimer: Not sure if this was actually the best movie I saw this year, or if the wave of excitement and the big crowd riding every wave that came sold it for me, but I’m so glad a movie like this made as much as it did. Give us more director-driven creations like this and Barbie! Movie theaters are so back, baby!