Someday We’ll All Look Back at This and Laugh (Or So We Hope): The Nightmare Start to the Cavaliers Season
October 30, 2009Eric Wedge Speaks About 2009
October 30, 2009
Sure, today’s press conference with Eric Mangini discussed football and the actual upcoming game against the Chicago Bears. But when your team is 1-6, sometimes the best takeaways revolve around Halloween and Science Fiction.
For instance, what will the Mangini kids be during their first Halloween with their father in Cleveland?
“Let’s see, we have Puss in Boots from Shrek. Yoda, that’s the one year old and Luke Skywalker, that’s Luke. Luke loves Luke Skywalker. The two oldest, they are big Star Wars fans. Jake is Han Solo and Luke is Luke Skywalker.”
But you can bet that the two oldest boys didn’t just stumble upon the George Lucas classics on their own. Surely, Luke and Jake have a third individual with whom to get their Wars on.
“I am usually either Darth Vader or the Emperor. It’s great. I have a Darth Vader mask in my office. I am sure the players are wondering what that is for.”
I’m sure most fans are wondering the same thing.
“[It’s for] when I Skype with them, I hope nobody ever walks in when that is happening.”
Yes, perhaps the one thing more embarrassing than scoring six-or-fewer points in four of seven games thus far through 2009 is getting caught wearing a Darth Vader mask on a weekday afternoon.
If anything, I give Mangini credit for discussing things like this with the media. In a season that is obviously not going the way that anyone would want, being lighthearted with the media helps ease the mood. Of course, these questions were quickly followed by ones regarding play-calling, game plan and the use of specific players like Josh Cribbs and Abe Elam.
Let’s just hope that this week’s game is at least competitive, or a few coaches on the offensive end may be looking to borrow some of their head coach’s masks.
28 Comments
“Did you see anything??”
“No sir! I did NOT see you playing with your dolls again!”
Spaceballs reference= +1 internets for the day
@DP Diesel – Hahaha! Nice. I love Spaceballs! “Sir, do you think we’re being too literal?” “No, you idiot! He told us to comb the desert, so we’re coming it!”
Oops. Coming = combing, obviously.
DP – I almost included that in the post.
We’re in now, now.
Sometimes I think he wants to wear it on the sidelines.
“WHAT? You went over my HELMET???”
The Darth Vader helmet is for Mrs. Mangini
Abe Elam is pretty terrible, I personally don’t care if he plays or not. He can’t tackle well, isn’t fast enough to cover ANYONE, and doesn’t hit hard. TERRIBLE.
“I see your shwartz is as big as mine”
“Never have that damn thing down in front of me. How I do I know you’re not making faces at me under that thing?”
“What is it, sir?”
“Raspberry. Only one man would DARE give me the raspberry… LONESTAR!”
@#8 I bet she gives great helmet
Mangini: Careful you idiot, it’s a five yard pass!
DA: Sorry sir, I’m doing my best!
Mangini: Who made that man a quaterback?
Savage: I did sir! He’s my cousin.
Mangini: Who is he?
Lerner: He’s an ***hole sir. [my apologies if that edit isn’t WFNY approved]
Mangini: I know that! What’s his name?
Lerner: That is his name sir. ***hole. Major ***hole.
Mangini: And his cousin?
Lerner: He’s an ***hole, too, sir. Gunner’s mate First Class Phil ***hole.
Mangini: How many ***holes do we have on this team?
[Entire team except for Cribbs, Thomas, and Rogers stand up and raises hand]
Mangini: I knew it! I’m surrounded by ***holes! Keep playing, ***holes!
lol, love spaceballs!
so mel brooks has done musical versions of the producers and young frankestein… next comes
“Spaceballs: The Musical” starring
Eric Mangini – Dark Helmet
Brady Quinn – Lonestar
Shaun Rogers – Barf the Mog
Braylon Edwards – Princess Vespa (he WOULD drop his own wedding)
Josh Cribbs – Yogurt The Wise
and of course Randy Lerner – Pizza the Hut
haha, JNeids – comment of the day
@JNeids – Very well played, sir!
…in reference to the offense and the endzone:
“We ain’t found ****!”
I am beginning to like Mangini. He seems to get us as fans. He brings discipline and I’m happy with the team not making tons of stupid penalties.
But the whole QB debacle from training camp till now is still wearing on me. I’m guessing he thinks they’re both no good, and is just trying to get through the season. Hoping that’s the case.
I withhold judgment until next year’s draft and season.
@14 – Romeo would have to play Pizza the Hutt. Randy Lerner could be President Skroob.
[Daboll and Mangini are watching film of the Packers game]
Mangini: “No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again.”
Excellent, Kevin.
I’m glad to have opened this can o’ worms.
ah very true boomhauer, i stand corrected
[Flash forward to 11/16. Kokinis and Lerner are looking on in disbelief at the 3/4 empty stadium as the kickoff sails through the air.]
Lerner: “Hey, I don’t have to take this! I’m rich!”
Mangini: “What are you doing?”
Lerner: [Takes out phone] “I’m calling my father. 1-800-AFTERLIFE.”
Let’s try that again, without the typo:
[Flash forward to 11/16. Kokinis and Lerner are looking on in disbelief at the 3/4 empty stadium as the kickoff sails through the air.]
Lerner: “Hey, I don’t have to take this! I’m rich!”
Kokinis: “What are you doing?”
Lerner: [Takes out phone] “I’m calling my father. 1-800-AFTERLIFE.”
@Scott – Never open up the Spaceballs can o worms with me. I can go all day! Then JNeids took it to another level adapting the lines to Browns situations… this is a good way to end a truly awful week in Cleveland sports.
Alright, least-common-denominator time:
Any defensive player after DA biffs a play:
“FOOOOOOLED YOOOOOOOU!”
YOU IDIOTS! These are not them! You’ve tackled their STUNT DOUBLES!
Ok I’ll play too..
Quinn: “What’s going on?!”
DA: “Josh (Cribbs), what’s going on?!”
Cribbs: “It’s Mega-Mangini! He’s gone from suck to blow!”