This decision is just different: While We’re Waiting

The sinking feeling was there again. That same one that hit the pit of my stomach on my college football field when I read the text he was leaving. I was at Muskingum then. A 21-year-old who thought he knew everything about sports and the heartbreak that follows all too closely if you align with Cleveland’s noxious organizations. I was throwing routes to pass the time, dreading what I knew was coming – LeBron leaving us. I will never forget how I felt when my Blackberry–yes, my Blackberry– buzzed with an alert he was headed to ‘take his talents to South Beach.’

This was something different though. 2016 changed so much of my outlook on sports. Age and maturity have helped too, but 2016’s miracle shifted my core as fan. It was no longer the esoteric dread of each passing Cleveland season, and instead it was replaced with a sort of calm and perspective it needed all along. LeBron delivered, and did so in such a way I will never forget the unadulterated joy I felt while it happened. Spending that night with my Dad, and young nephews outside Progressive Field. Watching history happen with thousands of other sanguine Clevelanders who carried the same burden. As I drove out of the city that night, you could almost see the cloud lifted from above. The burden of so many relieved.

The memory of that June night in 2016 was on my mind as I watched Twitter and LeBron’s decision unfold last night. I felt the strain of following the Cavs the last four years. The roller-coaster of emotions – from the heartbreak of losing Kevin and Kyrie in 2015, to the comeback, and then Kevin Durant’s arrival changing it all. It’s been draining, even for the fans. But as draining as it had been, I didn’t want to see it end this way. I think, in a way, Cleveland fans knew what was coming. We knew it, I think we accepted it beforehand, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Where do the Cavs go from here

I’m not sure any of us know this answer – perhaps not even the current Cavs brass. They knew this might happen, and probably had plans for its fruition, but you’re never fully prepared for the game’s best player to leave your franchise.

In an ideal world, the Cavs bottom out. They sell off their aging assets: Kevin Love, Tristan Thompson, Kyle Korver. Find some solution for the ugly contracts of George Hill, J.R. Smith, and Jordan Clarkson for pennies on the dollar. Highlight their young guys such as Larry Nance, Rodney Hood, Ante Zizic, Cedi Osman, and Collin Sexton as best and intelligently as they can. Make sure they tank enough to keep their top pick in 2019, which is top 10 protected thanks to the Korver trade of 2017.

But that isn’t what I’m expecting. I fully expect Dan Gilbert to remember all too well the embarrassment that was 2011-2014, and all the losing that transpired. It only added to his reputation for futility without LeBron. With the new Quicken Loans Arena updates coming, odds are we see Gilbert try to turn his team into a fringe contender built around Kevin Love.  Keep the seats full while winning just enough to stay somewhat relevant. It’s a terrible destiny that seems all too plausible at this moment.

Should we still follow LeBron?

This is your personal choice and one you will have to make if you care enough. I will always believe LeBron is the best basketball player I have ever had the chance to watch. I think I would have felt that way even if he spent 11 years in Milwaukee.

Having said all of that, I will pull for him. I will always pull for LeBron to win and maximize his skill set the same way I did while he was in Miami. But, I can’t pull for the Lakers. It makes me uneasy thinking about it. The same confusing mix of sickness I felt when I was happy for LeBron in 2012 and 2013 but sick it was happening for the Heat. It’s a weird feeling for a fan. One I don’t wish on anyone.

The empty feeling

This won’t be the same feeling for each of our readers. Some of you will feel much different about all of this than I will have shared in here. I understand each person’s angle on it. Nobody is wrong.

The part of this that hurts me more than anything else is what he said when he came back. The letter he wrote (that WFNY’s Andrew Schnitkey broke down here), and how he framed those words. How he made it seem Northeast Ohio was bigger than basketball, and he wanted people proud to settle down here. It isn’t to say he’s not allowed to have a change of heart, and that title in 2016 gave him the ability to leave on a somewhat positive note regardless.

But it doesn’t change the way I feel about it. Nobody forced him to write those words. Nobody forced him to place that belief he was spending the rest of his career here. He made that choice, and I understand why people are bothered that it ended here as abruptly and devoid of satisfaction as it did. It always felt like the LeBron/Cleveland story was meant to end much differently than this.

In the end, it’s ending can be chalked up to whatever reason you want. Dan Gilbert’s decision making, the Warriors unexpected dynasty, Steph Curry’s contract with ankle concerns, the cap spike of 2017, anything. It just doesn’t change that empty feeling I have. That our hometown hero left us twice. That unique bond only Clevelanders were supposed to share with this man is now shared with both Miami and Los Angeles. I am forever grateful for what LeBron did for this city and these fans. But I won’t shy away from the fact I am disappointed and heartbroken he left us again. Yet, somehow through all of that, I wish him the absolute best.