Hey, Hey, Hey, everybody, and welcome to Week 4 of your Browns Friday Fumble! Following another close loss to the vaunted Indianapolis Colts, your Browns are 0-3. But, if you look at it from a certain perspective, the Browns are 2-1. They were very close against Pittsburgh, and once again very close against Indianapolis, so on the Moral Victory record they are right in the mix in the division.
The most obvious and glaring problem with the Browns, once again was QB play. And what QB was on the bench and not out there making plays? Kevin Hogan thats who. Kevin is obvious in Hue Jackson’s dog house, and after a little investigative journalism we here at the Friday Fumble found out why. It is well known around Berea that Hue Jackson brings a large hoagie sandwich into the facility every Tuesday. It is the players off day so Hue doesn’t bother to keep it hidden, or put special markings on it to keep it safe. Well, Kevin Hogan being the hard working player that he is, often comes in on Tuesdays to watch film. Well, film study is hungry work, and I think you guys can tell where this story is headed. It has been reported (by anonymous insider “Briean-BC”) that Hogan stole the Hoagie and was seen eating it while watching replays of the 4th preseason game. Jackson was furious, but is such a “players first” coach that he refused to make the anger public, instead he simply benched Hogan for untested rookie DeShone Kizer.
With news of Myles Garrett’s ankle injury possibly healing up, we tasked Myles with one more poem before he has to focus on football full time. Without further ado, here it is.
Know Your Foe – Cincin…cincati…cincnit…The Bengals!
Being a fellow AFC North team means that we see them twice a year and we have a fairly intimate knowledge of their roster. But who knows what can change in one off-season. There are two things that you can always count on when you look at this Bengals team. One constant is Player/Coach Marvin Lewis, who will be the coach for as long as it takes for the ownership group to scrape together enough cash for the security deposit on a new head coach. The Second is the number of AJs, TJs, CJs and Alt-Js that are stockpiled here.
Cedric “The Entertainer” Ogbuehi
Former Tennessee Titans coach Jake Fisher
Controversial Education Standard Cody Core
Las Vegas “AJ” McCarron Airport
French Tower Tyler Eifert
Cleveland “Trey” Hopkins Airport
Dave: Seriously. you guys. We are going to win this week. Sure AJ and TJ, and CJ and RJ and WJ are going to be tough, but we have to get this one. Andy Dalton looks terrible and there’s only so many times you can throw it to AJ Green right? RIGHT?! Browns win 22-3
Dylan: Browns 26 Bengals 17
Yazan: Another match-up between Ohio’s two most orangest teams, (aside from Cincinnati’s best team, Futbol Club, Cincinnati). Both teams will be up for this game, as both have been huge losers this season, especially the Bengals who are bigger losers, because. But by Sunday afternoon (or evening? or morning if this game is in the old country of Europe? or Monday? When even is this game idk) one orangey team will finally have a 1 in front of that -3 (unless there are ties in this sport). No one could really put my thoughts into words better than the city of Cincinnati beat writers Paul Dehner Jr and Jim Owczarski, so here are their predictions, as thought of by me (but also them):
“Paul Dehner Jr. Prediction: Bengals 27, Browns 9
Often the Bengals make the trip North and there’s a wonder of maybe the Browns will play these guys tough. Or maybe the Bengals will see a few costly mistakes gift a game to the lowly Browns. Then, there’s a blowout. This feels like three weeks of frustration unleashed on a team ill-equipped to handle it. The last three seasons the Bengals outscored the Browns in Cleveland 90-13. DeShone Kizer will be the fourth different quarterback the Bengals have seen over that span. Cincinnati, Marvin Lewis and Andy Dalton are far from perfect right now, but they are closer to the team that nearly took out Green Bay in Lambeau than the group that sputtered through a 20-0 loss to the Ravens in the opener. The latter should easily dispose of the Browns on the back of a few interceptions and taking advantage of Cleveland’s inability to cover A.J. Green. The Bengals better hope that’s what happens, because the alternative would produce a brand of fire and brimstone this fan base hasn’t unleashed since 2010.
Jim Owczarski Prediciton: Bengals 21, Browns 17
Nothing has quite cured any Bengals woes like playing their rivals upstate. The Bengals have won five straight against the Browns since the 2.0 game on Thursday Night Football in Cincinnati on Nov. 6, 2014 by a combined score of 152-40. And since Nov. 30 of 2014, the Browns are a combined 4-36. The Bengals simply cannot afford to fall to 0-4 on this season and lose to the Browns. Hue Jackson’s team is getting better. They have more talent. They play hard. And the games last year were more competitive. But the Bengals are still the better team. A loss here would remind Bengals fans of the 23-20 loss to Cleveland on Oct. 3, 2010, which started a 10-game losing streak and previously marked rock bottom in the Marvin Lewis era. No one at Paul Brown Stadium wants to revisit that. I’m not sure the Bengals are quite ready to dominate the Browns Sunday, and Jackson definitely doesn’t want to fall to 0-4 as well. So this could be a close game, but I think talent will win the day”
My thoughts exactly Jim. Except for the score, which will be Browns 42, Tigers 7