Cavaliers, WWW

Hey, Remember the Cavs? While We’re Waiting

On Wednesday evening, the Cleveland Cavaliers will play a basketball game. As of this moments, they have no idea who they will be playing against or where there will be playing it. It will have been 10 days since their last game, and, in the event the Boston Celtics win Game 7 at home, it will be four more since the last time the Cavs played in Cleveland.

Think about this for a second: The last time the Cavs played a game within Quicken Loans Arena, the calendar had just flipped to May, people were still talking about LeBron James pretending to drink a beer, and James and Kyrie Irving combined to score 36 of the team’s 37 third-quarter points.

Snapchat had yet to announce (horrible) earnings.

Corey Kluber had yet to hurt his back.

James Comey was still Director of the FBI.

Marine Le Pen had yet to be shown the door by French voters.

The House had yet to vote on President Trump’s healthcare plan.

Stephen Hawking had yet to give us the news that we only have 100 years left on Earth.

The Cavs, meanwhile, are getting antsy.

“We’re itching to play, literally every time we go through somewhat of a walkthrough we’re ready to compete,” Kyrie Irving said following a recent practice. “You know it’s fun, at the same time, but still we want to get out there and play. You just got to try some new things these next few days in order for us to stay as sharp as we can going into Game 1.”

The team has continued on without scrimmaging since Game 4 against Toronto, focusing on conditioning and film—a delicate balance of both the physical and mental aspects of the game, all while attempting to avoid injury, Ty Lue’s paramount concern. Just this week, in a pickup game following practice, center Edy Taveres suffered a broken hand. It was in practice earlier this year when the team lost Chris Andersen to an ACL, and having a veteran team effectively means shrouding them all in bubble wrap outside of the 48 game minutes they play on a given night. Things are so different right now that Irving took to the post-practice podium while wearing Ugg slippers and socks with strawberries.

Think off-the-glass alley oops or Dortmunder breaks are trolling? How about addressing the media in slippers while your two potential opponents are duking it out in last-second contests?

While the league may have missed an opportunity to feature a Game 7 instead of 48 minutes of illegal screens from the Golden State Warriors, Monday night’s game is one that not only every Cavs fan should be watching, but one that cannot get here soon enough given the layoff that has transpired since the team’s most recent sweep of a conference opponent.

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  1. Those who wish to keep their politics and sports apart will have a tough time after reading this masterfully reported story. []
  2. This one’s for Craig. []
  3. Concussions are the worst. []
  4. Celebrity profiles are tough to write for a variety of reasons, but this one—on the highest-paid actor in Hollywood—is very, very well done. []

  • nj0

    As long as there aren’t any Cylons there.

  • nj0
  • RGB
  • Garry_Owen
  • jpftribe

    I’m offended.

  • tsm

    but will the Browns search for their franchise QB take longer than either?

  • tsm

    You just won the law school professor prize for – best use of the rule against perpetuities in a sports article involving the end of life on earth – enjoy!

  • Garry_Owen

    Awesome! That means I’m licensed to practice as a “WFNY Barracks Lawyer.”

    (Even though I missed the “plus 21 years” portion?)

  • tsm

    My son and new daughter in law attended the game yesterday. Loser relegated.

  • humboldt

    Got to love the worldview of the NE Ohio footbaw’ men that coached us all those years ago!

  • humboldt

    In light of David Griffin’s comment that he constructed an older team that was built to benefit from longer stretches of rest in the playoffs, it would also be worthwhile looking at mileage vs average age on teams and seeing what the relationship has been over the years

  • Garry_Owen

    I will say that there is some definite benefit to the brand of toughness that I learned from them. It wasn’t all bad.

  • CBiscuit

    They’re a special breed, the fire-breathing tough guy HS coaches…who ironically wear tight short shorts btw.

    (All of the coaches in my HS looked like these dudes—same maroon colors too)

  • BenRM

    Is there ever a “best use” of the RAP?

  • Garry_Owen

    Mine, too (‘cept the color)

    I played on a softball team during my college years where we all wore coaches shorts instead of baseball pants. On purpose. Respect.

  • Pat Leonard

    I’m really interested to see if he’s given a substantially bigger role this year.

  • mgbode
  • CBiscuit

    At least they weren’t so tight you still bore children. In a related note, I was in the men’s section at Nordstroms last week (first time shopping in like a year) and there was a product called Man Spanx. Yep, welcome to 2017.

  • CBiscuit

    At least they weren’t so tight you still bore children! In a related note, I was in the men’s section at Nordstroms last week (first time shopping in like a year) and there was a product called Man Spanx. Yep, welcome to 2017.

  • RGB

    Watch those microagressions!
    This is a Safe Space.
    No trigger words allowed.

  • The_Matt_of_Akron

    Never tell me the odds.

  • Saggy

    i think we are about 7 years too late for this.

  • Jeremy Humbert

    At least on Mars, the culture will be cultivation of what you have and striving to create better place and increasing survivability. Here, telling people to take care of the Earth or else! is like telling my son to take out the kitchen trash… it doesn’t affect him in his room while he is reading (playing pokemon on an iphone) so who cares you liberal pansy! (he has never called me that)

  • Jeremy Humbert

    Never tell me the odds…