C-Cap Recap: Indians, Twins & Indian Twins

The featured photo for this article is actually the first image that comes up when you search “Indians Twins” in Google. The brief chuckle I got from that discovery provided a solitary moment of joy in an otherwise bleak weekend of Believelands and bad baseball.

The Cleveland Indians were 81-80 in 2015. They are 17-17 through 20 percent of 2016. They’re currently 9-2 against presumed Central Division contenders Chicago, Detroit, and Kansas City, but 2-4 against basement dwelling Minnesota. Analytics reports still like the club’s pedigree, while believers in the “eyeball test” see an already weak offense gutted by the absence of its best, proven hitter. I would quote the great Dennis Green and shout, “they are who we thought they were!” But as it concerns the Tribe, nobody really seems to know what that even means.

To be fair, things did get off to a promising start in this latest series with the Twinkies. After losing a painful 16-inning affair in Houston on Wednesday, you might have expected Cleveland to come out a bit sluggish for the start of a weekend home set against a less than marquee opponent. Instead, they gave the crowd of 18,000 maybe its best evening of entertainment all season, scoring three runs in the bottom of the eighth to turn a 5-4 deficit into an eventual 7-6 win.

That performance, in turn, might have left you feeling pretty bullish on the weekend, particularly considering the Twins had now lost eight straight and Corey Kluber was taking the bump against chinstrap-beard enthusiast Ervin Santana. Well…

Rant 1: Ervin “Magic” Santana

Somehow, after more than a decade of watching Ervin Santana take his lumps against Cleveland hitters—first in an Angels uniform, then with the Royals and Twins—I had never heard the fascinating story behind his name. Actually, “fascinating” might be pushing it. Basically, to make a short story even shorter, Ervin’s birth name was Johan Santana. Just like the former Twins ace pitcher Johan Santana? Yes, exactly the same. And it was, in fact, that very issue that inspired a 20 year-old Johan No. 2 to change his first name, hoping to avoid any confusion with Johan No. 1, who was already one of the better young pitchers in the league at the time (we’re talking 2003-ish).

But why “Ervin?” Was it a middle name? A family name? Not likely. Names of Scottish origin don’t pop up all that often in the Dominican Republic. Was the young pitcher inspired by former NBA player Ervin Johnson? If so, it would have to be the Ervin Johnson who played center for the Nuggets, Bucks, and Sonics in the ‘90s, cuz the Magic Man spelled it “E-A-R-V-I-N.” Anyway, it was none of these reasons. “I just came up with Ervin,” Santana explained in 2005. “Ervin Santana, that sounds good.” Makes sense.

It might be a bit more challenging to explain Ervin Santana’s track record pitching in Progressive Field. Coming into Saturday’s game, he had a career record of 1-6 at Carnegie and Ontario, with an ERA over 6.00. If you prescribe to the idea that a pitcher can just be consistently uncomfortable in certain surroundings, however, I should probably remind you that Ervin’s one win in Cleveland—on July 27, 2011—was a no-hitter. Hmm. Maybe a player’s career numbers in a building matter less than the line-up he happens to be facing on a given day.

On Saturday, there would be no sign of Austin Kearns or Zeke Carrera. Instead, we had spring chickens like Marlon Byrd (3 Ks, .659 OPS) and Rajai Davis (3 LOB, .578 OPS) taking their hacks. As a result, Ervin Fausto Santana went a solid six innings, surrendered just a single run, and became the beneficiary as Kluber scuffled again in the middle innings, giving up four runs, including the first career homer for journeyman catcher Juan Centeno.

https://vine.co/v/i0ZYvi3l597

According to local sports sage and Believeland star Tony Rizzo, Corey Kluber isn’t as good as Dennis Green and everyone else thought he was, because his win/loss record the past two years has been “horrendous.” I mean, what could I possibly add to that spot-on assessment? If you were that good of a pitcher, Corey, maybe your teammates wouldn’t hate scoring runs for you.

Rant No. 2: The More Things Change…

Young Twins hurler Tyler Duffey completely mystified the Indians in Sunday’s rubber match, out-dueling Trevor Bauer in a 5-1 yawnfest. Bauer pitched well, giving up just five hits in 6-2/3 innings and striking out eight, but Duffey and his sharp curveball had the Tribe hitters swinging with butterfly nets.

Tyler Duffey’s middle name is “Blinn.” That’s pretty cool. To the Indians, he might as well be NoBlinn Ryan. Or Nolan RyBlinn. God, I’m tired. Anyway, Duffey is now 2-0 in three starts against Cleveland in his brief career, with an ERA of 0.93.

That’s right; Sunday was nothing out of the blue. Last year’s club couldn’t hit the kid either. Which raises a point…

Considering all the new faces added to the Tribe line-up over the off-season, isn’t it a bit strange just how much this year’s performance has felt like a continuation of 2015? I suppose that could just be the illusion of life at .500. But if you expected the new batch of veterans to create a wildly different looking offense from the Swisher and Bourn era, the numbers aren’t playing that out just yet [I do realize that comparing April/May 2016 numbers to the entirety of 2015 is a bit unfair].

Aside from Mike Napoli adding to the team’s frequency of well crushed baseballs, the only real promising uptick in the numbers above is in the batting average with runners in scoring position. Overall, though, the jump in K rate and general offensive slide across the board might have less to do with the new guys and more to do with Michael Brantley’s shoulder.

If you’re not worried about Brantley’s season—and by consequence, the Indians’ season—being derailed by this latest shoulder flare-up and DL stint, you’re not a true Cleveland fan.

Honest question: If Brantley plays fewer than 81 games this year, is that loss enough to drop this team out of contention? Even with a healthy pitching staff?

Last Rants: Thank Goodness There Was Also Friday

I figured it might be nice to end on a positive note for once, and go out of chronological order to celebrate a very enjoyable win on Friday night, including this gold nugget from the Lindorable one. #LeaveYourGloveAtHome

https://vine.co/v/i0ZrDMv2Y0p

Lindor assistance aside, this was a classic Josh Tomlin night: only 4 hits allowed, but 3 of them left the yard. He was on a fun pace of one dinger per inning through the first three, then—also in Little Cowboy style—he completely shut down Minnesota for the next three innings and kept his guys in it.

Yan Gomes and Jason Kipnis joined in the homerun derby (they each hit a pair on the weekend), but a freaking Eduardo Nunez homerun in the 8th off Bryan Shaw (his first run allowed in a few weeks) made it 5-4 Twins. Shawshank then proceeded to load the bases, only to be saved from disaster by Zach McAllister, who punched out two men to keep Cleveland in it.

It still looked like we were headed to yet another one-run loss to these sub-Canadian bums, but hey, Zach had provided a ray of light! And sure enough, with Lindor and Jose Ramirez aboard in the bottom of the inning, Marlon Byrd delivered a huge bases-clearing double to dead center. Juan Uribe (.613 OPS) then drove him in with a sharp single for what proved to be a much-needed insurance run.

When Cody Allen finally did get the final out with a K of Byung Ho Park (who’d homered twice off Tomlin), it was quite the festive atmosphere. The Tribe was 17-15, Frankie Lindor had two hits to go along with his defensive magic, Yan Gomes seemed to be getting his swing back, and anything was possible.

https://vine.co/v/i0ZrWFzz3L1

…Just for the record, though, I don’t consider Yan Gomes’ two homers to be much of a good sign. The dude’s whole problem is that he’s developed this awful dead-pull golf swing. He’s gone homer happy, and sometimes that results in hitting a homerun. More often, it results in an OPS barely over .500. I was more happy to see him line out to the second baseman on Saturday. It went for nothing, but when Gomes was on his game at the dish in 2014, he was consistently driving the ball to right center.

I have no more jokes or observations. It’s a .500 baseball team. It’s amazing we manage to have anything to say at all at this point.

OH WAIT! It’s OHIO CUP WEEK! Hot Damn! OHIO CUP! OHIO CUP! BEAT THE REDS! COMMIE BASTARDS! OHIO CUP!