The Expansion Cleveland Cavaliers of 1970: Bill Fitch Establishes a Culture
January 30, 2015Start the Love Train: Cavs vs. Kings Behind The Box Score
January 30, 2015
Since the Cleveland Browns did not make the Super Bowl once again, I have decided to choose a temporary rooting interest in the “big game” on Sunday. It’s not an easy call. Neither team is especially likeable from a Clevelander’s perspective: Seattle is the reigning (more like “raining” am I right?) champs and New England already has a fistful of rings. Still, it’s fun to rent a team for a few hours so let’s break the options down by a few semi-scientific criteria.
Drought:
Usually, I am in favor of any team that either has never won a championship or has a long title drought. This matchup is less “Cinderella” and more “wicked step sisters.” The Seahawks embarrassed Denver in last year’s Super Bowl 43-8. The ‘Hawks this year finished 12-4 and earned the top seed in the NFC. New England has not won a Super Bowl since the 2004 season, but few NFL fans weep for Tom Brady and Co. The Patriots made the title game after the 2007 and 2011 seasons, but lost both matchups to the New York Giants. Technically the Pats have a longer “drought” so they take this round.
New England – 1, Seattle – 0.
Head Coaches:
The head coaches of these teams are not very likeable men. Bill Belichick conducts himself like he is auditioning for the role of “villainous head coach of the rival team” in a new football film. Cleveland has long maligned ol’ Bill (He cut Bernie Kosar!), but he has been under national scrutiny since the equipment in last week’s AFC Championship Game was allegedly not up to code. The only good thing about #Deflategate is that it gives everyone with a Twitter account the excuse to try and write every “handling balls” joke ever. As far as I can tell, they have. Pete Carroll is of dubious integrity as well. He coached USC to a national championship in 2003, but later fled north before a series of NCAA sanctions landed on the Trojans. Carroll comes off like a guy who would love to sell you some property and no, it’s not a scam why do you ask? I’ll give this one to Seattle only because at least Carroll seems awake during his press conferences.
New England – 1, Seattle – 1.
Buckeyes:
When in doubt, root for Ohio State. Historically Buckeyes have found success in the Super Bowl (Malcolm Jenkins with New Orleans and Mike Vrabel with New England among others), but there is not much Scarlet and Gray legacy this year. The only OSU alum in the game is Nate Ebner. Ebner walked-on at Columbus from 2009-2011 and spent most of his time on special teams. New England drafted him in the sixth round of the 2012 draft, and Ebner has totaled 34 tackles in the past three seasons. It’s not much presence, but Buckeyes still need to stick together.
New England – 2, Seattle, – 1.
Odds: America loves an underdog. According to Odds Shark, New England is a one point favorite as of January 24. While that line may move between now and kickoff it is enough of a margin to grant Seattle status as an underdog and a point in this round. This seems even more appropriate considering the heart-stopping manner in which Seattle won their conference title game. They have a “scrappiness” that New England did not engender with their dismantling of Indianapolis in the AFC title game.
New England – 2, Seattle – 2.
Logo:
Aesthetics cannot be overlooked. Teams spend millions of dollars to construct the ideal logo/design combination and yet the Buccaneers’ uniforms still happened. Seattle has the original Angry Bird, a sleek blue/gray/green hawk head that offers an intimidating look. New England counters with a decapitated colonial figure that either has a very long hat or a red ponytail depending on your perspective. To fully appreciate the logos however, we should consider their classic looks.
Seattle’s original logo had something in its eye, or was squinting to get a better look at a field mouse. Either way, it is more elderly water fowl than intimidating decal. Meanwhile the original AFL Patriots logo is a thing of beauty.
A colonial footballer squats in a three point stance with a smirk ready to charge the redcoats at Yorktown with a zone blitz. The AFL had an unmistakable style so this final round goes to the Patriots.
New England – 3, Seattle – 2.
So there you have it. By my calculations the New England Patriots are the team to support in this season’s NFL Championship Game. Even though they’re immersed in deflated footballs. Even though they are the Yankees of professional football. Even though their fans are vocal and often irritating. Even though Tom Brady went to Michigan…
On second thought I might just root for Katy Perry.
14 Comments
Good read but I root for the Hawks because that’s the blueprint our Browns are building our team with
Great stuff, Corey (except for the unfortunate bit about the Patriot logo portraying a defender about to blitz. Yikes).
The Green Bay Gag ruined this game for me. The Packers are a team that I can root in favor of. But now we’re left with the Insufferable Egomaniacs vs. the Incorrigible Cheaters. The best thing I can say about this match-up is that one of them will lose.
Go My Squares!
That’s the blueprint huh?
GO PATRIOTS!
The best thing is that the other 3 AFC North teams made the playoffs but none are in this game.
For al the condemnation of Belichek and his cheating ways, Sneaky Pete is close to a net even for me. He was a cheating cheater at SC, but is known locally here in SoCal as a genuinely good guy who cares about his players. Also, he’s also a lunatic truther who believes 9-11 was a gov’t conspiracy–so I tend to think he’s more of a rah rah loon whereas Bill is more of an evil genius.
As for the likeability of players, it’s hard to like the mouth of Sherman and the schtick of Lynch. Unless Lynch is diagnosed with a legit anxiety disorder, I’m assuming this whole thing is a big FU from a punk A.
Thus, a lukewarm…go Pats.
You forgot to judge the fanbases, and without a doubt, Boston fans are the most insufferable mouth breathers walking the earth. Go Hawks.
But, Belichick’s cheating is just cold and calculated whereas there is some fun to Carroll’s cheating 🙂
Leaving this here:
http://profootballmock.com/report-82-americans-name-meteor-hit-stadium-team-theyre-rooting-super-bowl/
I hope so. Build an awesome defense (we are close), strong running game (we are close), mediocre QB (pretty far on this one, but doable).
Let’s not forget that Seattle lucked into their mediocre QB (who might be much better than mediocre – he’s on a nice track). Wilson was a 3rd round pick and they had Matt Flynn as the starter until just before the week1 game (and, even then, guys like Mike Lombardi were yelling that they needed to bench Wilson for Flynn).
Our pass defense is there, but, man, oh man, that rush defense is not.
Our defense was ranked #1 in QB-rating against. That would be the best in the entire NFL.
Our defense was ranked #2 in Interceptions.
Our pass defense was ranked #3 in Yards Per Attempt (YPA).
Our defense was ranked 10th in 3rd down%.
Our defense was ranked #9 in Points Allowed (that is top10 in the most important category).
GO HAWKS!! Can’t root for Brady- I hate him cuz I ain’t him.
http://i.imgur.com/qt6iNKC.jpg
Worse than the “12th man” fangirls?