I had the pleasure of speaking to a Detroit Lions fan over the weekend. Really nice guy, and very loyal to his team. We realized that we have much more in common than we would care to admit as Browns fans. One thing that we both hear a lot is a simple question- Why? As in why do you root for such a terrible team? Recently when asked that question I could really only come up with one answer- I love the Browns? Made me sound like Brick Tamland. So, I thought we’d do a little comparison with the Channel 4 news team’s weather expert. Sad similarities…
Brick Tamland- Where’d you get your clothes… from the… toilet store?
Yeah, we’re playing the Steelers again this week. It’s pretty bad when your biggest rival won’t admit you’re even rivals anymore…and you can’t help but agree. We know Romeo hasn’t beaten Pittsburgh since he arrived, but do we realize how dominant the Steelers have been over us? The last time the Browns earned more than a split of the season series was in 1988! Since then we have been swept 8 times, including losing three in a single season TWICE! Since our last victory over Pittsburgh (in 2003) we have been outscored 319-128. The average final score of a Cleveland/Pittsburgh game in this decade? Pittsburgh 27, Cleveland 15. Why should Pittsburgh get worked up to play us? It’s hard to taunt another team with “Yeah, well we won 7 straight in the 80’s!”
Brick Tamland-Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
This quote seems appropriate for the one shining moment in the season. The win over the Giants. Those four quarters of beautiful football would have us all puzzled the rest of the season. How did we manage that? Why on earth could we look so unbeatable one moment, and then so totally helpless the rest of the year?
Brick Tamland- You’re not Ron…
Ken Dorsey. We haven’t scored an offensive touchdown in 20 quarters. 4 complete games. Look at your QB Cleveland fans. Do you expect to march down the field with Dorsey at the controls? I’m sure he’s a great guy and all…
Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We’ve been walking for forty-five minutes.
Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
Brick Tamland: Okay.
Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
Brick Tamland: Fantastic.
So, Romeo Crennel is still confident he can turn this team into winners. Really? That’s going to be hard from Cancun, or wherever you choose to vacation during the season. I know you can’t just come out and say “I’m likely going to be fired”, but give us a little credit. We’re not buying it. And thanks for all the useful information this season. Is there anything less informative than a Romeo Crennel press conference? Besides this article I mean?
Brick Tamland: O, I’m sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
Yep. We bought into it. Just like the team did. We thought that 10-6 season meant we had turned a corner. Remember those Super Bowl chants at training camp? It’s not that the team doesn’t have talent. We obviously do. It’s just a shame that we can’t develop or use it properly.
Ron Burgundy: Do you guys really want to know what love is?
Brick Tamland: More than anything in the world, Ron.
Winning. It’s why you watch every week. It’s why you visit a site by our name. Because some day…just maybe…it will be our turn.