Paging Ben Francisco…
April 8, 2008A Kansas Win, or a Memphis Loss?
April 8, 2008I’m a fan of Extra Mustard. For those of you not familiar with SI’s version of a sports/entertainment blog, you should try it sometime. In fact, start with a photo gallery that they entitled “Drafting Baseball Movie Characters.” Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Interesting idea they came up with, too bad they flopped on the execution. I mean seriously, who was in charge of this draft Matt Millen? Isaiah Thomas? Butch Davis?
Here are the top 10 picks in their mythical draft-
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Jack Elliot 1B- Mr. Baseball
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Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh SP- Bull Durham
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Dottie Hinson C- A League of Their Own
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Montgomery Brewster SP- Brewster’s Millions
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Amanda Wurlitzer SP- Bad News Bears
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Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn RP- Major League
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Henry Rowengartner RP- Rookie of the Year
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Bobby Rayburn OF- The Fan
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Ed – Ed
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Roy Hobbs OF- The Natural
Ok, let’s start with the obvious- Ed? This list is already a travesty. A mockery. A sham. You know, a travshamockery. I liked Brewster’s Millions a lot, very underrated movie, but Brewster himself was a junk ball pitcher, and his claim to fame was that he could “get anybody out for three innings”. Well that might be useful for a relief pitcher, but not a starter. And come on, Mr. Baseball wasn’t even the best choice from the team!
So here are the major snubs from the list (with apologies to Extra Mustard.)
Clue Haywood 1B- Major League. This position is full of guys on the downside of their career in the movies. (Jack Elliot, Stan Ross- Mr. 3000) Not Haywood. Check out these stats, .341 average, 48 home runs, 121 RBI. Not to mention, the AL TRIPLE CROWN WINNER. Um, yeah. How is this guy not drafted again? He would be the undisputed MVP of the league as well as the first choice in every fantasy draft the following season. Wow. Just, wow.
Billy Chapel SP- For Love of the Game. He’s obviously a little past his prime in the film, but he does throw A PERFECT GAME! You know, I hear that’s kind of rare in baseball. He was considered a hall of fame lock in the movie as well. Ten times better than Brewster in any discussion.
Let’s put the list of snubs aside for a minute, there are three actors that could have made this list playing more than one character. That’s fairly impressive. Costner is the baseball movie king, and Crash Davis could have easily found his way on this list too. Richard Pryor made it for Monty Brewster, but his character in The Bingo Long Travelling All-Stars and Motor Kings was a better ball player than Monty. Finally there’s Dennis Haysbert, who played Pedro Cerrano and Max “the Hammer” Dubois from Mr. Baseball. Max eventually gets the call to come back to the states, better than Tom Selleck!
Ok, list on again. Willie Mays Hayes OF- Major League. You need someone to set the table, and this action superstar in the making can do that for you. Just make sure you draft Wesley Snipes, not Omar Epps and you’re set at lead-off and center field. (By the way, isn’t it scary how close to Kenny Lofton the Hayes character was?)
Buck Weaver 3B- Eight Men Out. What? Yeah, I know he was a real player, but he got kicked out of the league even though he never took any money. And this brings up another interesting point, what about Joe Jackson? If you want to eliminate actual players, and thereby the cast of Eight Men Out, what about Shoeless Joe in Field of Dreams? He wasn’t actually alive there…
Archie “Moonlight” Graham OF- Field of Dreams. Hey if you’re going for potential, then here you go. You could do worse than to have Shoeless Joe give you props. Or what about Brooks from The Rookie? As Dennis Quaid said to his minor league manager, “He won’t be back.”
Alright, so they got a few right on the list. Hobbs is a given, though should be higher than 10th. Rick Vaughn is a must, as is Bobby Rayburn. I know Rock will probably blast me for not included Jake Taylor here, but Scott’s WFNY fantasy team is the Jake Taylor All-Stars and he’s sitting in first right now. No way he gets credit!
17 Comments
no willie “mayes” hayes…where’s the love????
More egregious than leaving Jake Taylor off your list is Dottie Hinson making SI’s list. Anyone who purposely drops the ball to let her sister win a championship has no competitive spirit and should be stricken from the list.
“but Scott’s WFNY fantasy team is the Jake Taylor All-Stars and he’s sitting in first right now. No way he gets credit!”
RECOGNIZE!
harsh rock, very harsh…but true. whos the manager of this “club”? lou would do it but he’s got a guy on the other line for some whitewalls
Also, I’m tossing out a vote for Tanner Boyle…
I would love to see Jimmy Dugan manage the team:
Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?
Evelyn: Well, I’m a Peach.
Dugan: Well I was just wonderin’ why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.
Um, Patrick, Willie Mays Hayes is on my list…not SI’s. Manager is where I might be swayed to put Jake Taylor.
You forgot Brendan Fraiser’s character in ‘The Scout.’ Dude pitched an 81 pitch perfect game in his MLB debut in the WORLD SERIES. All strike outs too. He’d be my franchise cornerstone.
WHERE THE HELL IS ROGER DORN!?!
lol.
oh yeah, rumor on espn boards is that there is a presser today at 7pm where JoeBo will be released by the indians.
just a rumor, im looking further into it.
ugh, nm it was a troll. i hate espn message boards.
How about the kid from “The Sandlot” who out-ran the dog? Didn’t he end up on the Dodgers at the end?
I know it was a kid’s movie, but I still crack up thinking about how the Cubs’ manager would always butcher Henry Rowengartner’s name. I forget what he would call him, but it was different every time. And it was funny each time.
I like James Earl Jones for Manager. Here’s a great resume . . . won a best actor Tony as Troy Maxson in August Wilson’s “Fences”, Terence Mann in “Field of Dreams” (I realize he wasn’t even a player here, ya wanna make somethin of it?), and Mr. Mertle in Sandlot. I think he deserves at least an honorable mention.
no one beats mickey scales from little big league. no one! and where the hell is kelly lee, hes on bad mother…
yeah, i meant how could they not…i did see that u had him on ur list.
umm…how about Darryl Palmer from the movie “The Slugger’s Wife.” The guy only broke Maris’ HR record for chrissake. Extra points for the fact that the character is played by the same guy who was Danny Noonan from Caddyshack and the fact that his prodigous HR power came from bangin’ Rebecca De Mornay.
Yes, the steal of the draft….
Hell, how can Dottie be taken above Wild Thing and over Freddy The Jet?
This person obviously has a huge man crush on Magnum PI and drafts like the Yankees. Hell, I could form a team of kid ballplayers from the movies that could smoke these fools. As for the All-Stars being in first place, Cerrano is nipping on your heels.