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February 7, 2010Cleveland Haters: John Hollinger Ranks Cavs as #3 in NBA
February 7, 2010
One of the great things about this site is the submissions that we get from readers, other bloggers, and friends. Sometimes, these three worlds collide, and we end up with a Triple Venn Diagram situation. This post is a vision, if you will, based on a submission that came from the center of said Triple Venn territory. A bit of prose, for you to enjoy on this snowy Sunday. It is sports related, Cleveland Browns related, in fact, and I hope you enjoy it.
Sometime in recent years, in a small factory somewhere in Hong Kong, a worker named Liu Wei puts the finishing touches on an orange stuffed bear. This bear has been made in anticipation of the American football team in Cleveland, Ohio picking a footballer early in the first round of that year’s draft. There are many like it, but this one is mine the one we’re going to follow.
Liu Wei transports the bear, along with 200 of his orange bear bretheren to an embroiderer. The bears will be customized with the name of the man who is to save lead the newly formed Cleveland Football Browns. Children will laugh with joy as they play with their stuffed bears that BEAR (get it?) the name of their hero. These bears will accompany American children as they grow up along with their hero – the man that will help lead thier favorite football team for years.
15 days later, the factory receives orders to embroider the bears with the mark of the Chosen One, who is the newest, most important member of the Cleveland Browns. The bear that Liu Wei crafted is finished and packaged along with 50 of his bretheren. They are shipped to a retail gaming warehouse in New Jersey, America, and await distribution to arcade games, where they will be fought over for hours by excited passers-by.
However, an unexpected thing happens upon arriving in America. The bear sits for weeks and weeks, untouched and confused. Months go by at a time and the bear sits forgotten. Years pass. The bear gives up hope on ever seeing the light of day.
One day the bear hears the warehouse workers talking. “Who cares at this point?” one says, “nobody will even know any better”. The workers argue, and then agree to send the bear off to the Windiest of Cities in the United States, to Chicago, Illinois. The warehouse workers agree that in Chicago, the bear will be able to find a young child who will love him and not know or care whose name and number is embroidered on the back of the jersey, or what he accomplished in his life. “It’s just a stuffed bear”, they tell each other as they pack the box for the Second City.
The bear arrives in Chicago and is taken to the Gene Siskel Movie Center on North State. Here, the bear is told, he will find his family. On Wednesday, February 3rd 2010, he is dropped into The Claw machine and finally is given his chance to reach his new family. That Saturday, a passerby notices him, lying face-down in the machine and takes a picture. He forwards along this picture to his handsome and charming friend, who happens to write every third weekend (and sporadically when he gets ideas) for a Cleveland Sporting Blog. Below is the image that was taken.
This is an open-ended story, one that has no end at this point. Our friend left the bear in the claw machine to liven up someone else’s life. That someone could be you.
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Thanks to our buddy Brian, who is on an internet hiatus, for submitting this truly awesome photo.
I don’t actually know if it is at the Siskel Center, so just start going to every movie theatre possible. If you find it, take pictures with it all around the world. Windy City Wahoo, this seems right up your alley.
20 Comments
:'(
Even the godless/humorless Isis would shed a tear for this story.
I have an autographed photo of Charlie Frye that I would like to donate to said Claw Machine.
Is Denny the court jester around here because I’m starting to sense a real trend with these articles? I actually found the image of the bear clad in a #2 Tim Couch jersey the funniest part. The greatness that was Tim Couch man oh man this guy would make Troy Smith look good! 😉
I can’t wait for the bear to wind up in a glacier and then be harvested in a bag of Kwik E Mart ice. “Ooh a head bag. $12.50”
This is the last Denny article I read. He’s not even close to being funny….
Holy crap! Awesome! SOMEONE NEEDS TO SAVE THAT BEAR AND BRING IT HOME!
There has to be a WFNYer in Chicago who can do this for us. What a tragedy if this thing doesn’t end up in Cleveland.
BRIAN GO BACK AND SAVE THE BEAR! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LEAVING IT THERE? (I will gladly pay what it takes to get that bear home.)
lol @ horace.
seriously.
that denny should be giving us specials on zany SB prop bets.
[he coming at you once he’s done shoveling.. take cover.]
I’m moving back to Chicago just to hunt this thing down … it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine
Denny SUCKS
That’s my Woobie! Maaaaaan…back to the couch. Sniff.
Han, do you mean “That’s my Wookie”? That would be a hilarious name for a bear owned by Han Solo.
Woobie….MY Woobie…don’t touch.
Couldn’t even get decent blocking in the claw machine.
DENNY I’M SO MUCH FUNNIER THAN YOU. YOU’RE LUCKY THAT I’M TOO LAZY TO START MY OWN BLOG OR YOU WOULD BE OUT OF A JERB!
/seems like a good place to mention that I now read all caps as sarcasm everywhere, which leads to hilarious confusion
Funny things is, I have one of those bears. Guess it won’t be worth something someday after all. There goes my retirement.
Denny, I have that bear. I think my wife got it for me when the new Browns were hatched.
If someone can get me the actual theater, I’ll go get it. Other than that, I’ll keep an eye open for it. There are simply too many theaters/claw machines in Chicago to turn this into a treasure hunt.
BB: GET OUR BEAR. 164 North State Street Chicago, Illinois 60601. BE A HERO!
Again, I’ll pay all reasonable expenses to get this bear home.
Frowns, I just made up the location – I just felt it would be good to give a theatre that the bear is located. It is in Chicago, but I don’t know which theatre.