A Post Grind Split
October 1, 2009NBA Issues No-Handshake Policy
October 1, 2009This is a new feature of mine. It will run this one time. Then it will be gone. Until it comes back.
When I started writing my piece yesterday about the QB Break Down (double-entendre alert!), I never had an honest thought in my head that by the time I was done DA would actually have been named the starter. Call it wishful thinking; call it naiveté; call it whatever you must. The fact is, I never dreamed that after only 2.5 games anyone would be willing to say they’d seen enough of Brady Quinn to know he had no future with this team.
Alas, I was wrong.
But, I don’t think it’s that simple. As Keyser Soze once opined, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” So, while some may choose to believe that Brady Quinn got hosed, and that Eric Mangini is merely trying to net some offense to stave off the wolves at the door for awhile at the expense of long-term development, I think the answer has been hiding right in front of our faces all along.
1. Brady Quinn’s contract is laden with incentives.
As Deep Throat (the Nixon guy, you pervs) once stated, “Follow the money!” It’s not a secret that Quinn’s deal has escalators that kick in after he plays a certain percentage of the team’s snaps as well as anything stats-related. It’s not a secret that the lion’s share of DA’s money has already been paid out in bonus form. By pulling Quinn in favor of Anderson after such a short period of time, Mangini has all but guaranteed that Quinn cannot reach those escalators, and will cost much, much less against the salary cap, and will also make him more tradeable.
2. Eric Mangini never wanted Quinn as his starter to begin with.
Why else would this competition have gone on so long in the pre-season? Why else would Anderson–a guy we already have quite an extensive tome on with respect to his strengths and weaknesses as a player–keep getting so many chances? Why else would Mangini insist that Brett Ratliff be included in the trade with the Jets on draft-day?
3. Mangini wanted an excuse to get rid of Quinn.
Following up on #2, Mangini knew that it would be a mistake simpy to cut Quinn, which would basically tell the fan base, “Look, we’re going to suck on ice for the next two years, so we’re just going to with the guy who’s under the expensive contract and will keep the seat warm until I can get more of my guys in here on both sides of the ball to be ready for a new QB of the future.” To do so would be a PR suicide. Browns fans are nothing if not willing to forget things in the short-term and go into almost every season with some kind of blind optimism. Why urinate on that before the season even started?
4. Mangini set Quinn up to fail.
Because of #2 and #3, Mangini pre-orchestrated a plan to give Quinn a minscule shot so that he could say to the fan base, “See? We tried. It didn’t work. Time to move on to Plan B-as-in-‘Blow Up’ folks,” and at the first sign of struggle would then jettison the Golden Domer in favor of Anderson to ride out the next two years while DA’s still under contract. Why else would we have such crappy play-calling game-in and game-out? Why else would the playcalling open up somewhat once DA was inserted in the third quarter on Sunday? Why else would Josh Cribbs be the starting #2 wide receiver when he hasn’t showed enough to merit that continued opportunity?
5. The Smoking Gun: Brian Robiskie will not only be active on Sunday, but will start opposite Edwards.
Mangini will announce that Robiskie made great strides in practice this week, and not only will he be active, but will start and make an impact. Cincinnati’s secondary is by far their weakest area, and Mangini will set Anderson up to look light years better than Quinn in an effort to justify moving Mr. Myoplex at the trading deadline for additional draft picks.
It’s all part of the master plan, folks. Mangini played us all like fiddles in an effort to get Quinn out of here and buy some time to build a team for his own QB in 2011, whether it be Ratliff or someone else not yet on the roster.
And, in a final move, Quinn will rip off his Browns jersey on Sunday to reveal a Dolphins jersey underneath, will hit Mangini with a folding chair, and then climb to the top of the benches and deliver one last flying elbow to the lumbar region, marking the end of this clowny chapter in Browns QB history.
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Word of the Day: satire – noun; 1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn; 2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
42 Comments
Greatest pic ever to accompany a story on here in my opinion. Too bad you couldn’t have photoshoped a Browns jersey on him.
If this is the case…i’m sure gonna miss Brady, but at least he’ll go out with a bang!
If this theory holds any water I’m sure it would be appreciated by those who purchased season tickets. This is the first time in years that I have absolutely no desire to drive 45 minutes up the road to watch the Browns play live.
I buy the contract part….I buy the part that Mangini wanted DA as his QB but thought it would be a terrible PR move. I also buy that both QB;s are terrible and that we could easily go 0-16.
As Keyser Soze once opined, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
-Originally written by Charles Baudelaire
the robiskie bit is the most intriguing. i like your style, and i would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
also, mangini is a freemason.
Makes sense, except why make Quinn look bad – it hurts his trade value. Wouldn’t it be better to go with Anderson from the start so that Quinn’s shortcomings weren’t exposed?
Great pic. I love the people giggling in the background.
I reject your reality and replace it with my own
I like how you think DP. Maybe 20 years from now we’ll read about it in Mangini’s tell-all…
KEY-SER SHOOOZZZZZEEEE!!!
Actually, the real reason Mangini’s going with DA is because his big arm stretches the field. Thus, his interceptions occur further downfield than Quinn’s do. The result is better field position for the Browns defense.
And you thought he wasn’t a genius.
@ 12 – Absolutely. I saw Zastudil on the injury report, and DA could probably throw the ball farther than Z can punt it. This is also why Cribbs is a wide receiver now. He’s devised a new specialty position on the field called “Interception return coverage”.
It’s the wave of the future folks, jump on board now.
@12
In a strange and college football sort of way, that kind of makes sense.
It is best, in times like these, not to think; the matrix is unstable.
@12 and @13 – Brilliant! Love it!
Even further….Brett Favre retires after this year (ie. after his two parting shots at the Packers….) and is replaced with Quinn, traded by Brett’s last coach, Mangini….
@13
Cribbs is the gunner on our “interception return coverage” team? Haaaaaaaaa, that is hilarious!
Also, just think how bad our losses might have been if Mangini hadn’t kept opposing teams wondering whether or not the 36th overall pick in the draft would be playing.
There’s no conspiracy in any way, shape, or form. This is real simple. You’ve got a coach who is desperate-desperate people do desperate things. This guy is so untracked that he’s flailing for a win. The moves have nothing to do with rationality or conspiracies.
How come nobody Brian Daboll wasn’t fired or demoted to address this issue?
Good stuff.
I said this below but it’s worth posting here, re: the $11M incentive if Quinn takes 70% of the snaps:
Have you seen anything out of Quinn, even with the deck stacked against him, that justifies giving him that kind of money this year? Hell, let Anderson take 31% of the snaps then let Quinn back in there, if your concerned about development. The second question here is, shucks, didn’t Quinn look like he might have been playing not to lose $11M rather than playing to win football games? And if that’s so, is that the kind of guy you want leading your football team?
Mo Mass > Robiskie. I’m sure we’ll see him instead.
Post edited with new photoshop’d Browns jersey from Chuck. big ups sir.
I like this, especially #5
He should have just traded the one so we could pick a TE and pass over good LB’s. although I wasn’t a fan a Maualuga
I forgot to replace the microphone!!!! Dang….(giving back my big ups, and hanging head in shame)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeJpQlGW_GA
you DO NOT want to watch this Randy Lerner tribute
@ Cleveland Frowns: seriously? you feel the need to fault a guy for trying not to lose ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS??? Wow, tough crowd.
The Browns stink this year. I’d rather go 3-13 with $11 million in the bank than go 5-11 with no financial security. but that’s just me…
haha, what am i saying? i meant 1-15 or 2-14 – HA!!
Is that a picture of Brian Daboll working on Sunday’s “offensive” game plan?
b-thanks for passing on the Lerner tribute, beyond priceless!
The NFL will handle this as the NBA did with Ted Stepien. How many of you are old enough (not many, I’m sure) to remember when Stepien hired a high school coach (Don Delaney) to coach his NBA team? Delaney lasted half a season.
Brilliant piece. It’s sad, but this could be believable.
quinn sucks. he wasnt even that good in college. look at troy smith. he was way better than quinn and troy will only amount to being a nfl backup.
browns made too many draft mistakes. if only they didnt pass on LT or AP, they might actually be decent now.
who are the number one draft pick prospects? I seriously hope mangini doesnt have any nephews/cousins/brothers who are draft eligible
Chuck, I kind of like it better without the mic. He looks like he’s trying to force out a wicked deuce, which I think is more appropriate in this context.
LMAO!
When Quinn rips off his jersey to show his new alliance to Miami, Mangini will grab the chair and rip off his jacket to reveal he still has his loyalty with the Jets. Both Quinn and Mangini will then team up and beat Cribbs half to death, then will run over LeBron on their way out of downtown. It’s all been a conspiracy against Cleveland anyway.
Proof 1. We traded down and gave up Mark Sanchez, with whom did we trade?
Proof 2. The Belichick coaching tree is known for being sneaky. Mangini learned this lesson well.
PS Lerner will be seen in his owners box like Vince McMahanon laughing at our plight while wearing his Aston Villa gear (Which is what he does every Sunday anyway)
At least Veikune is contribu…ting… Err, Mack is showing why… he… Well, Robiskie has had a great… couple… Okay, Sanchez has looked aw… ful… Hmm. Right then. Two-point-five games is all you need to evaluate a QB, right? Money would never motivate a professional sports owner in Cleveland! :sigh: Could Gilbert buy the Brownies? Or just fight Lerner to the death for them?
Bad bad move on that mang. hire. He is a terrible person. Lerner must sell to someone that cares or just get rid of nfl in cleveland. i am sick of them after 30 some years. I say the same thing Opie said F*** him.
I think Isis is a conspiracy, created to drum up interest in WFNY. How come I’ve never seen Isis and Denny post at the same time? I’m just saying….
@ Scotty – you are hurtful. Also, we don’t allow co-authored comments, that’s why you’ve never seen us post at the same time.
Haha. You know what, that was my fault for not using the SARCASM FONT. I’ll work on it in the future.
You are right on the money with your artcle.
It always comes down to saving money.
[…] It has been posited by many—myself included—that Eric Mangini’s move from Brady Quinn to Derek Anderson was a move made by a coach who sees that Quinn has no long-term future on his team, and who believes that Anderson—while also not in his long-term plans—gives him the best chance to win in the short-term as he builds for the long-term. At least, that was my hypothesis. […]