Is Something Wrong with Cody Allen?
July 25, 20172017 Browns Season Position Preview: Running Back/Fullback
July 26, 2017
Mornin’ y’all. The last episode of Rational! Snark! or Conspiracy! had fractured #TeamRational into #TeamSunnyside and #TeamStormcloud factions, but stability on the head coach and front office fronts have once again seen unity among those ranks to bring the teams back to their original formation. Don’t let those who claim to be in #TeamApathy fool you, there is a reason that articles on the defending No. 1 overall pick Cleveland Browns are consistently more viewed than the AL Champion Cleveland Indians or Eastern Conference champion Cleveland Cavaliers.
So, I hope this post finds you in the highest of spirits with the wind forever at your back, while you sit back and enjoy the latest episode of Rational! Snark! or Conspiracy!
Here’s how we play
Each scenario is given three answers in three separate categories. The rational category is for any fan actually still able to analytically dissect the latest Browns rebuild despite everything else (God bless you). The conspiracy category is for anyone thinking of wearing a tin foil hat with all these WiFi signals floating around as the government might be reading our minds. The snark category is for anyone needing a defense mechanism to get through yet another losing season for the Cleveland Browns.
Important to note: All comments in the conspiracy and snark categories are completely unconfirmed and have no specific intimate knowledge other than what is in the public sphere.
Any of the answers might be correct or they might all prove to be completely off-base. It is up to you to decide and post in the comments.
Let’s get started…
Gregg Williams replaces Ray Horton Jr. as defensive co-ordinator
#TeamRational: Giving Ray Horton Jr. another opportunity to coach the defense was a mistake that the Browns were wise to move on from quickly. It was good fortune that Gregg Williams became available as Jeff Fisher was let go from the Los Angeles Rams. His ability to create havoc and utilize a combination of defensive fronts should fit in well with the youthful athleticism available to him here.
#TeamConspiracy: The Harvard Brain Trust plan to tank away the 2016 NFL season in order to obtain the No. 1 overall pick was accomplished. Ray Horton Jr. was the perfect coach to infiltrate the coaching ranks and sabotage any possible victories. With his mission complete and the Browns looking to be more competitive in 2017, his services were no longer needed.
#TeamSnark: A complete overhaul of the defensive plays, calls, and identity? This is totally new to the Browns and will shock everyone to go through.
Browns re-sign Christian Kirksey and Jamie Collins
#TeamRational: The Browns inability to secure second contracts from their veteran players has helped upset any opportunity at securing stability within the organization. The titanic shift of having two leaders from the defense re-sign in the same offseason is a fantastic statement to the player’s confidence in the current coaching staff and front office.
#TeamConspiracy: It took years of “failed” first-round picks signing with the New England Patriots, but the constant stream of information being sent back to Berea finally was fruitful during the 2016 season when it led to trading for and re-signing Jamie Collins.
#TeamSnark: The Browns signing these two players surely had nothing to do with them paying what would be top dollar-or more- on the open market.
Offensive line gets beefy with signing of Kevin Zeitler and J.C. Tretter
#TeamRational: The Browns now plan on starting four proven, quality players on the offensive line. As such, expect improved play from both the running backs and quarterbacks as the line sets up the entire offense.
#TeamConspiracy: There is no better confirmation to the tanking conspiracy of 2016 than the shedding of Alex Mack and Mitchell Schwartz from the roster only to then re-commit to offensive line stoutness once the tanking was completed.
#TeamSnark: Even ignoring the injury concerns of Tretter and Bitonio, the Browns still might have to start Cam Erving at right tackle, so what does it matter?
Deshone Kizer and Brock Osweiler replace Josh McCown and Robert Griffin on QB depth chart
#TeamRational: Addition by subtraction of two terrible quarterbacks in McCown and Griffin. Kizer has true potential and was steal in the second round. Osweiler… well, we received the Houston Texans second-round pick for taking his contract. He’s not a terrible third option either.
#TeamConspiracy: Allowing the New York Jets to steal our tank-inducer at starting quarterback the year Sam Darnold is eligible for the NFL Draft will prove to be our latest undoing.
#TeamSnark: Two more names for the jersey.
Kenny Britt replaces Terrelle Pryor at wide receiver
#TeamRational: While it would have been ideal to have signed both players, Britt is a more polished receiving option who should be able to replace the statistical contributions of Pryor.
#TeamConspiracy: Buckeye players being shed and ignored in the draft, while Michigan players are selected in the first round by the Browns is indication that Jim Harbaugh is the obvious succession plan from Hue Jackson.
#TeamSnark: Who needed a dynamic downfield threat who could out-leap and out-fight any defensive back for the ball, right?
David Njoku replaces Gary Barnidge at tight end
#TeamRational: Seth DeValve is likely to be the starter who truly replaces Barnidge with Njoku providing what will hopefully be an influx of athleticism and playmaking ability to the offense.
#TeamConspiracy: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is conspiring to keep Gary Barnidge out of the NFL due to a flap that traces back to Barnidge requiring the NFL to add an addendum to the catch definition to include butt cheeks.
#TeamSnark: Barnidge is so amazing that he isn’t even signed with anyone yet.
Quiet offseason with no major infractions, drug suspensions, arrests, or off the field injuries
#TeamRational: Shhhhhhhhh!!!!! Do you want to jinx it? Oh, we’re supposed to be the rational ones, well do you want to jinx it?
#TeamConspiracy: Browns hired a good cleaner, which is why we don’t even know his name.
#TeamSnark: Corey Coleman’s Christmas Eve incident, Jabrill Peppers NFL Combine test failure, and Caleb Bryant’s bar shove all count. Besides, there’s plenty of time for someone to do something stupid.
Myles Garrett
#TeamRational: So, so, good.
#TeamConspiracy: Garrett even faked a foot injury so he could get out of meaningless OTAs. He’s a vet.
#TeamSnark: It will be opposing quarterbacks shaking in their boots for once.
Jabrill Peppers finally signed his contract in late July
#TeamRational: The current NFL CBA has more strict guidelines from which rookie contracts can be drawn up and thereby holdouts, especially among non-Top 10 picks are especially rare. The signing was a simple matter of waiting for the urgency for Training Camp to be upon them.
#TeamConspiracy: Peppers and his camp waited on purpose just so they could get another dig in on Pro Football Talk. His first defensive battle has been won. Well played, Jabrill.
#TeamSnark: All you Ohio State honks said to draft Malik Hooker. Well, he’s already on the PUP list. How you like them apples?
Impending quarterback controversy/competition
#TeamRational: Cody Kessler has the initial leg up as he knows the terminology, had an offseason to work on his issues with progression and arm strength, while still possessing elite accuracy. DeShone Kizer will need to prove to Hue Jackson that he has digested the entirety of the playbook, which will be difficult to show in the preseason.
#TeamConspiracy: Colt McCoy will be starting by Week 8. I’d tell you how it will all play out to get to that point, but I am not at liberty to divulge those details.
#TeamSnark: Oh, the Browns have questions at quarterback and the fans will eat each other alive as they debate which one of the options is the least worst? You don’t say.
When it comes to your Cleveland Browns fandom, what team are you on?
Team Primer: https://t.co/2pAhMJddyc
— WaitingForNextYear (@WFNYCLE) July 26, 2017
2017 WFNY Commentariat Team Formations
#TeamRational
- Tigersbrowns2
- Pat Leonard
- B-Bo
- Jpftribe
- Kiddicus
- Absentee ballot: Bryan
#TeamConspiracy
- Garry_Owen
- Skulb
- Chris
- maxfnmloans
- Absentee ballot: saggy, Hopwin, chrisdottcomm
#TeamSnark
- CBiscuit
- Scripty
- Eric G
- Absentee ballot: RGB, Sam Gold, Dave
Self-Proclaimed #TeamApathy
- Humboldt
- nj0
- MartyDaVille
- Harv
- Steve
222 Comments
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Hah. Man, WTFNY is a classy place. Free association meets a love of sports. It’s as if we’re all living over the same methane leak.
I would argue the opposite. CTE can cause people to harmfully interact with others.
OJ Simpson is so obviously stricken with CTE. Remember that when you say that dying is worse than CTE.
To quote the inimitable Jello Biafra: LIFE IS A CONSPIRACY!
I (think I) like where the USMNT is headed.
OK, let me rephrase then: millions and millions of poor people dying from starvation, wars and being impoverished by corruption is worse than a few thousand well paid athletes developing later-life health issues. I’m really not trying to trivialize their legitimate human suffering, just put it into a larger perspective. This is very much what I would consider a first world problem. And you can’t make the world perfectly safe in my opinion, unless you lock everyone in a cage. Danger junkies will not be playing flag football. They will find something else that gives them the rush they crave.
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still waiting for the “good.”
Soccer is not a flaw. I am an enthusiastic supporter of the Browns and the Redskins, but also a massive fan of AS Roma. I really don’t know how these two glorious sports ended up in competition with one another. They shouldn’t be.
I believe you.
i hate the term, “first world problems.” If you have a problem, it’s a problem. If the only hospital performing appendectomies is closed at the time your appendix burst, it doesn’t matter what world you’re living in; you’re gonna die.
Quite the conspiracy American soccer has brewing.
I hold nothing against soccer, though it is not a sport I follow. Running joke between B-Bo & myself here on it is all.
You’re not wrong, but the ascendant popularity of the NBA and MLB and even soccer in recent years would suggest that we perhaps overestimate our national lust for violence and understate our appreciation for beautiful games
Concussions are a problem in rugby as well though. The problem is that the brain wasn’t made for high speed collisions
Right. While I have also advocated for eliminating the armor in modern football, people actually died wearing leather helmets – more often than might be supposed. To get the same level of concussion results in football as currently exists in rugby, they would have to play rugby.
I’m honored being assigned to Team Conspiracy, yet must forego the game as I could care less about the Cleveland Browns rebuild.
Have fun gents!
I’d much rather play this game with the current state of the Cavaliers.
and for that Im on #TeamPetty
If you “could” care less, then that means you still care. Welcome to the game!
WHADDYA MEAN YOU DONT WANT TO DEBATE CODY KESSLER VERSUS DESHONE KIZER??
what a buzzkill.
Ignoring the false dichotomy of football versus “beautiful games.” Ignoring the false dichotomy of . . .
I can’t. Football is also a beautiful game.
I absolutely agree. I should have made more clear that I think football stripped of violence would still be a beautiful game, perhaps even more so. Flag football with world class athletes would be like expanding an NBA game to a larger field of play
I can admit that I read this in a Tony Rizzo shouting voice
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#TeamSnark 4 LIFE!
I assumed you did; just wanted to make the affirmative statement.
It does make me ponder, though, the degree to which the violence of the game is also “beautiful,” though maybe in a different sense. There is something appealing and compelling about the physical human struggle of the game as it exists now, apart from some base lust for violence for violence’s sake.
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It’s the same as any other sport I think. Interest comes from paying attention to one club over time. The more you learn, the more interested you get. Even caber toss is like that.
Absolutely agree. I started watching and following Spurs about 5 years ago, never having previously watched much soccer at all (beyond attending Force games as a kid). Now I can’t get enough of the stuff.
That’s undoubtedly true. I think I’ve often referenced the Patton quote about war (“god help me I love it so”) as perfectly expressing my draw to football. There is an aesthetic to a collective physical struggle that I cannot deny. But that same dynamic exists symbolically in many forms across the world of sports, and not all cause such profound physical damage as football. Complex isn’t it?
Well said. It’s hard to admit this in civilized company, but I absolutely relate to Patton’s quotation (in the literal context as well as the applied context).
Did you become a Roma fan before or after Italo Zanzi’s time at the club?
Wherever it is I hope it’s without Brad Guzan and Michael Bradley. Tidbit of the day: USA have 2 players from my first boyhood club (Nagbe and Morrow).
I mentioned it last year, but the origin of what we might collectively call tackle ball is extremely violent. It was often played as a celebration of military victories among the Celts, who would apparently play tackle ball with severed heads. And football has retained a lot of this martial origin of the sport. It would be weird with troops and fighter jet flyovers at a soccer game, even to Americans. But you almost expect it in football. Everything about it is a simulation of warfare. Soccer is as well, but in a more symbolic way.
I think that it isn’t necessarily the violence people admire, but the courage of the men on the field. I would legitimately soil myself if someone pushed me onto an NFL field in the middle of a play. You can feel the violence, fear, sweat and excitement like an aura when you get close. I’ll just go back up in the stands where it’s relatively safe.
I do not understand the Michael Bradley appeal. He turns in 1 decent international game out of every 6 or 7 (that goal a couple of weeks ago was something to write home about – but then nothing). As for the other Bradley, I have a sentimental desire to see him win something somewhere for some reason, but don’t ever want to watch him actually play (unless he’s playing against Spurs, which also doesn’t happen anymore).
Sorry, had a doctor appointment. Map-Dot-Fingerprint Dystrophy suuuuucks.
Exactly what I did with football. Started following the Skins in about 2002 and then the Browns more recently, largely because of this site. There might be some taboo about supporting two NFL teams, but hopefully it won’t matter since they are in different conferences. If we’re honest with ourselves, the chances of the Browns and the Skins meeting each other in the post season are probably not great.
I’ll deal with it if it happens.
Before. I went to my first game in 1993. Totti came off the bench in that game for just the second time I think. But I had already been a fan of Roma since the amazing Falcao played there, so I’m definitely a veteran there. He was my soccer role model growing up.
Team sports are all about nuances I think. Before you notice them it can be boring. But when you do it is like artwork. I am trying to get over this hump right now when it comes to baseball as well, which believe you me is hard for a European. I haven’t quite succeeded yet. Watched the last two World Series though, and quite enjoyed them. I guess there’s still hope.
Legacy placeholder from previous versions, the season will draw out your conspiratorial nature again.
This is probably among the wisest things anyone has said about this subject. Humanity hasn’t changed biologically at all in historical times. All development in that time has been scientific, technical, cultural and linguistic. And not all of those things are necessarily particularly fact-based.
Thanks, man. Quite a compliment.
This is something I’ve thought about a lot. I am always loath to look too poorly or judgmentally upon past generations for what they did with what they knew or how they thought. The human brain and intellect have always been the human brain and intellect, and the fact that we have things outside of the brain and intellect as well as new approaches to considering the world that our ancestors did not previously have does not mean that they were stupid, or ignorant, or just plain superstitious because they went about the world differently.
It is a very interesting question. One feature of our development as a species is that we are in a way externalizing everything we know in the form of books. We don’t know anything really, but the books do, and we can learn from the books (dead people) if we want. And of course we all specialize too, so most of us only know a lot about one specific area, and little to nothing about almost everything else. As individuals we are on many ways less advanced than people have been in the past. And certainly less capable of surviving on our own.
I always tell my kids that it’s better to know a little something about everything than it is to know everything about something and nothing about everything else.
god dammit.
Too little, too late.
“So let’s deal with Jackson. Not an easy thing to do, because everything in American history is supposed to get judged and put in the good or bad boxes, and you really can’t do that with Jackson. Either Jackson was bad because of the way he treated the Seminole and Creek nations, or he was good because he was the first president who stood for the hardscrabble Scots-Irish peasants against the Coastal Elite (and yeah, they did talk about “Coastal elites” in those days, just like they do now). Either he was bad because he owned slaves or he was good because he fought against a centralized bank. It’s a shame we can’t just let him be what he was, an apex predator. He even looked like one, like a backwoods Dracula or a hawk with hair”
https://www.nsfwcorp.com/dispatch/twelve-days-of-1812-day-ten/
Right, so, we’ve got you down for Team Conspiracy. You can pick up your uniform, which consists primarily of tinfoil and thermal imaging-resistant fabrics, from the equipment manager, though I confess, we haven’t seen or heard from him in years since his cabin was raided by the Feds. Anyway, the door is unlocked, so you should be good to go; just don’t let anyone see you enter or exit.
#TeamConspiracy Team Photo circa 1983
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That is a fantastic article. Thanks for sharing it, and the website.
For the record, my criticism of Jackson and his election has nothing to do with modern moral sensibilities and norms (as has been implied), but more to do with unbridled populism and its effects (mostly negative, though taking into account some of the positives). Indeed, I proudly served in an Army unit that traced its lineage to Jackson’s command and whose motto was “Eyes of Hickory.” I place Jackson in the same military category as Patton and the other Jackson (he of the stonewall); and would consider the potential election of either of the latter to executive office to be as foolish, had either survived to that populist point.
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