Cavaliers, WWW

Hey, Remember the Cavs? While We’re Waiting

On Wednesday evening, the Cleveland Cavaliers will play a basketball game. As of this moments, they have no idea who they will be playing against or where there will be playing it. It will have been 10 days since their last game, and, in the event the Boston Celtics win Game 7 at home, it will be four more since the last time the Cavs played in Cleveland.

Think about this for a second: The last time the Cavs played a game within Quicken Loans Arena, the calendar had just flipped to May, people were still talking about LeBron James pretending to drink a beer, and James and Kyrie Irving combined to score 36 of the team’s 37 third-quarter points.

Snapchat had yet to announce (horrible) earnings.

Corey Kluber had yet to hurt his back.

James Comey was still Director of the FBI.

Marine Le Pen had yet to be shown the door by French voters.

The House had yet to vote on President Trump’s healthcare plan.

Stephen Hawking had yet to give us the news that we only have 100 years left on Earth.

The Cavs, meanwhile, are getting antsy.

“We’re itching to play, literally every time we go through somewhat of a walkthrough we’re ready to compete,” Kyrie Irving said following a recent practice. “You know it’s fun, at the same time, but still we want to get out there and play. You just got to try some new things these next few days in order for us to stay as sharp as we can going into Game 1.”

The team has continued on without scrimmaging since Game 4 against Toronto, focusing on conditioning and film—a delicate balance of both the physical and mental aspects of the game, all while attempting to avoid injury, Ty Lue’s paramount concern. Just this week, in a pickup game following practice, center Edy Taveres suffered a broken hand. It was in practice earlier this year when the team lost Chris Andersen to an ACL, and having a veteran team effectively means shrouding them all in bubble wrap outside of the 48 game minutes they play on a given night. Things are so different right now that Irving took to the post-practice podium while wearing Ugg slippers and socks with strawberries.

Think off-the-glass alley oops or Dortmunder breaks are trolling? How about addressing the media in slippers while your two potential opponents are duking it out in last-second contests?

While the league may have missed an opportunity to feature a Game 7 instead of 48 minutes of illegal screens from the Golden State Warriors, Monday night’s game is one that not only every Cavs fan should be watching, but one that cannot get here soon enough given the layoff that has transpired since the team’s most recent sweep of a conference opponent.

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  1. Those who wish to keep their politics and sports apart will have a tough time after reading this masterfully reported story. []
  2. This one’s for Craig. []
  3. Concussions are the worst. []
  4. Celebrity profiles are tough to write for a variety of reasons, but this one—on the highest-paid actor in Hollywood—is very, very well done. []

  • RGB
  • RGB
  • RGB
  • jpftribe

    I missed the Hawking prediction. I’m sure the Browns will be poised to make their big run in year 101.

  • jpftribe

    One of these things is not like the other……

  • humboldt

    That stat on mileage is fantastic – a prism for understanding the physical toll on players that we normally don’t consider. Either of those teams will basically end up running a half marathon more than the Cavs, which is significant wear-and-tear. And that doesn’t even factor in things like extra travel, not being able to sleep in one’s own bed, the anxiety of close games, etc.

  • humboldt

    #QuantumAnalytics

  • mgbode

    Well, he claims asteroids, AI, overpopulation, epidemics, and global warming are all possibilities TO END MANKIND. By the way, did I mention my new books on colonizing Mars? I mean, to put a 100 year capper on it like he did…

    He’s coming off like a clickbait marketer lately.

  • mgbode

    One of the reasons it was such a shame that Kawhi was injured last night as it won’t force another game from GS.

  • jpftribe

    The aliens will return to Sumeria before then. (Yes, I actually read this thing.)
    https://www.amazon.com/Rule-Secrecy-Trilateral-Commission-Freemasons/dp/0060931841

  • BenRM

    Yup. My thoughts exactly.

    “All these things will end the world immediately! Here’s my book I just wrote on how we continue after those things.”

  • jpftribe

    Yes, the planet will become so uninhabitable we will have to move to another one with no water or oxygen.

  • JNeids

    The cycle has begun anew.
    #AndStill

  • Garry_Owen

    Hawking gave us the “news” that we have less than 100 years. Fake news.

  • Garry_Owen

    100 light years away.

  • Garry_Owen

    My H.S. football coaches would have said that those other teams are getting stronger than us. I would have believed them. I might still.

  • Garry_Owen

    Man. What a photo. I might just stare at this all day long. Takes me back . . .

  • RGB

    Wait until you see tomorrow’s…

  • jpftribe
  • Garry_Owen

    I’m already shivering.

  • Garry_Owen

    Boy, is he going to look dumb when humanity is alive and thriving in 100 years. Oh yeah – the ease and joy of predicting things outside of anyone’s current lifespan. There should be a rule against perpetuities in the prediction/book-selling game.

  • mgbode

    It is far easier to transport humanity to a world where current travel by man is considered near impossible (not to mention figuring out how to live there w/o water or oxygen or a sustainable atmosphere) than it will be for us to engineer a solution on Earth.

  • mgbode

    Multiple articles have used variations of “Has Hawking ever been wrong?” as their kicker (closing line).

    Uh yeah, Hawking has been wrong a ton. If he wasn’t, then he’d be a terrible scientist. Intelligence = Infallible is a dangerous proposition.

  • Garry_Owen

    Science = infallible is also a dangerous proposition when such “science” cannot be observed, tested, or replicated.

  • mgbode

    There’s a fine line. If they stay healthy and win, then it can be an advantage to conditioning in the short-term (ignoring longer term ramifications). Cavs have been taking lower risk conditioning routes, which is smart on that scale.

    It’s like a double-elimination tournament (common in baseball). If you keep winning, then you can get to the Finals with just a few games. If you lose early, then you have a ton of games you need to get through. But, you will have a ton more “game reps” than the other team you face there, and if you do get there then you’ll have a ton of confidence from winning those games.

  • Garry_Owen

    “Fine line” is the phrase that was running through my head when I typed that. For a team of 22-25 year olds, running an additional 10 miles might actually be a good thing more than wear and tear. For a team of 28-35 year olds, it’s probably more wear and tear than a good thing. I’d say for the Cavs, best to not risk it.

  • mgbode

    Yes, same arc there. The very definition of science is that it is supposed to continue to challenge itself constantly in order to better understand things. One of the main principles of being a good scientist is to understand that you don’t know anything and you are just doing your best to describe what you can with the current allotment of facts.

    Of course, we have a “publish or die” setting in our current academia world, which shifts those priorities.

  • CBiscuit

    The possibility of successfully us navigating a winning season in the next 100 years is approximately 3,720 to 1.

  • jpftribe

    Staying healthy, less chances of an injury, should be the trump card.

  • Garry_Owen

    Better than Leicester City’s last year!!

  • mgbode

    Yes, there is a higher risk of injuries, so “given the choice” you don’t pick risking them. But, if you survive without injuries, it might be better for you. That’s the fine line.

  • CBiscuit

    He’s just going for money and all of the quantum backstage bettys.

  • Garry_Owen

    Can we still say “trump card?”

  • mgbode

    are you taking that action?

    (we’re just talking about getting to 9 wins, right?)

  • mgbode

    Reminds me that big shoulder pads in the 80s weren’t just a style for women.

  • Garry_Owen

    They got bigger in the ’90s!

  • jpftribe
  • Garry_Owen
  • RGB

    You will be.

  • RGB

    I was watching a documentary on Christian Okoye yesterday. I think he wore the biggest shoulder pads ever.

  • swig

    Exactly what I was going to say. It’s all relative to age/experience.

  • CBiscuit

    Hawking. Total loser. Glasses are always on crooked and he’s too lazy to even walk up to the podium.

  • Garry_Owen

    As a former VP would say, “Stand up, Stephen, let ’em see you! Oh, God love you.”

  • CBiscuit

    Dear Lord. Uncle Joe. That was (painfully) the best. Or worst. How does one recover from that? Crawl away? Hop on your motorized podium like Spicey and rife away?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4c67950c832e06d7ad2ce3792f5ad1a414dd30984f69c5fddf3fe75336d519da.gif

  • Garry_Owen

    No need to recover when the world gives you a pass! Besides, it wasn’t that big of a f!#$%ing deal.

  • mgbode

    Eric Turner had to be close

  • nj0

    Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it.

  • nj0

    To be fair, the articles I’ve read make it sound like it’s the BBC sensationalizing things to promote their new show with him. And “article” is probably not the right word. It looks like these places just took a BBC press release, copied, pasted, and then added a click-baity title.

  • RGB

    I thought the universe was on the back of a turtle.

  • JNeids