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Bill Burr, Cavs, Kelly Olynyk and more: While We’re Waiting

It’s Friday and I’m trying to think about sports, but it’s difficult. As always, feel free to use this as an open thread to kick off the weekend…

I missed the last Cavaliers playoff game (for the most part) because I had previously purchased tickets to see Bill Burr at Hilarities. Despite my sports addiction, I prioritized a theater-level comedic talent in a small club over the Cavs’ playoff game. There’s a version of myself that is more conflicted, but it’s hard to get too uptight about it in hindsight seeing what the Cavaliers did to the Raptors in Game 2. Despite this one-night preference for Bill Burr, I’m doing everything I can to not take this team for granted, but it’s difficult.

The Cavaliers may not get to the NBA Finals, but if they don’t it will be their own failings. They are clearly the best team in the east by a longshot. The Cavaliers still have to play well and take care of business, but they really shouldn’t lose based on talent. I was thinking about it and if you look at any of the teams left in the eastern conference, I don’t think I’m being crazy when I say that Kyle Korver might be the second or third best player on each of the remaining teams other than the Cavaliers. We could split hairs over that assessment, but I think it’s safe to say if you added Korver to either Washington or Boston right now, it would put one of the teams in the driver’s seat over the other.  Speaking of that series…

FIREWORKS IN WASHINGTON

Our old friend Kelly Olynyk was at it again in Washington. He set a big pick on Oubre and Oubre lost his mind and embodied every post-Kevin Love arm socket Cavs fan that wanted blood. For his efforts, he was ejected. Here’s what it looked like.

Movie Trailer: The Dark Tower

I don’t read Stephen King books. I mean, I’m a human from the United States so I’m sure I’ve read one somewhere along the line, but generally speaking I don’t read him. That’s usually a failing strategy for movie fans as well, as the movies based on Stephen King properties aren’t usually all that great. The Dark Tower, however, is one time where a movie trailer has me damn glad I’ve never read the book. I wouldn’t want to ruin the movie!

Last but not least, I have to double back to the beginning and tell you how amazing it was to see Bill Burr back at Hilarities. I saw Burr there probably eight or nine years ago with my wife before he became one of the biggest comics in the country. The last time he was in Cleveland (maybe last year?) he played a couple shows at a giant theater in Playhouse Square. The idea that you could walk into Hilarities and see him perform this week in Cleveland was really special. Burr has become one of those comics that can say anything he wants with little to no repercussions. He uses that latitude wisely to push the boundaries of polite conversation and cultural convention. He does it without coming off as crotchety and out of touch. I feel like I got a sneak preview into some of what his next special on Netflix will be like and I can’t wait to see these bits in their mature, finished form sometime in the future.

That’s it for me, guys. Enjoy your weekend!

  • mgbode

    Man, you definitely should have self-published or, I don’t know, maybe have pushed it to a certain website that might cover something like Cleveland sports???

  • mgbode

    Well, you need to feed him mush. Then, he will know he doesn’t want it.

  • Saggy

    Kittens are Marxist? Is this really a thing?

  • Harv

    inaccessibility to methods of upward mobility – or even knowledge of those methods – is one of Vance’s main themes. Particularly how no one around him had any idea how to guide a smart kid toward getting out of horrible social cycles of poverty and ignorance and general clannishness. He describes remnants of transplanted appalachian “hollers” still orbiting among themselves within larger communities, and a severe absence of role models.

  • JNeids

    Yeah I probably didn’t look hard enough into the self-publishing option, but I really didn’t know where to start. And it certainly wasn’t polished enough to publish here – most of the pages don’t have even pics from the web to serve as placeholders for the art I had in mind.

  • Saggy

    dude – there is always time to publish that book. Do you know how many “Good Night….” books there are out there? I think I have like 6. I would absolutely ABSOLUTELY buy Goodnight Cavs, Goodnight Indians, and Goodnight Browns.

    If THIS book got made, so will yours. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/00657ff3565e47a2a60a8ebacc2f0de5b0abb86343fee768988a9d8ea29c643d.jpg

  • humboldt

    Gosh, if only there had been a presidential candidate in the last election who was not perceived as part of the cultural elite and who had a platform offering poor folks universal healthcare, access to higher education, a $15 minimum wage, investment in rural/urban infrastructure…
    https://media.giphy.com/media/GbysgZlbcObOE/giphy.gif

  • Saggy

    DO NOT give up on this. It is a hit. It’s a great idea, and it will sell.

    Self-publishing is as easy as ever (but don’t ask me how to do it), and you can do it pretty quickly.

    FWIW – there is already a Goodnight Cavaliers that is about the University of Virginia.

  • JNeids

    I have seen a bunch out there, like Goodnight Ohio at places like Buy Buy Baby. The difference between your example and my book is yours will be relevant for the foreseeable future. But if I knew there were enough people that would be willing to buy my book (read: make me a profit or at least not lose money)…

  • mgbode

    We could have made it work. You need to be on alert to update it for the title defense championship version.

  • Saggy

    Larry David?

  • Saggy

    Before you do anything else you’d have to make sure you would be allowed to use the Cavs Intellectual property, I’d assume.

  • humboldt
  • JNeids

    That was one of a long list of questions I had.

  • Saggy

    That happened to me in 4th grade in Sunday school. A book fell off the desk and sliced the white part of my eye. Really gross. I have been an atheist ever since. (ok, that last part isn’t true, but it would be funny)

  • Saggy

    so call Dan Gilbert.

  • Saggy

    Christopher Lloyd?

  • Harv

    delectably hateful. Let me ask you this about that: if he played precisely the same but looked like Kevin Love with a flat-line game mien, or like Christian Laettner with a perpetual smirk, hate him less or more? Olynyk looks to me like a perfectly brainless Stevens storm trooper. At Nuremberg he’ll claim he was just following orders.

  • JNeids

    I just went back and read through it for the first time in a few months. Forgot I even gave a little WFNY shout-out 🙂

  • mgbode

    What? No. You Vanilla Ice it. Make it popular and make a ton of money, then settle out of court if Queen is mad you ripped off ‘Under Pressure’ beats.

  • humboldt

    Yes, he is a banal and indistinct evil. He doesn’t even do us the courtesy of being an interesting villain–he’s just an automaton inhabiting a 7ft frame

  • chrisdottcomm

    The Dark Tower series is King’s Magnum Opus taking him a lifetime to complete and from the trailer it looks like Hollywood had an intern skim The Gunslinger, come back to them with words like GUNS! DIMENSIONS! NEW YORK CITY!

    He definitely lost his way in Song of Susannah and Wizard and Glass but on the whole the series is life changing for most who accomplish it.

    There’s been at least three different iterations of how they planned to bring these books to Movie/TV over the last 15 or so years and sadly this has me the least excited.

    Anyways… here’s to long days and pleasant nights.

    See you at the theatre for the release.

  • chrisdottcomm

    I consider finishing The Darkness Tower series one of my life’s proudest accomplishments.

    Now if you’ll excuse me my wife and kids would like the computer.

  • Steve

    The thing abut Vance’s memoir – he is no hillbilly. He lived in a town of 50k that was part of the Cincinnati MSA, raised by someone who had a secure, pretty well paying job. I have no idea how he got people to believe he was some kind of expert on the subject.

  • This is our favorite Goodnight Moon parody…

  • Loved the first season. New season at the end of this month.

  • JNeids

    Never heard of that one. This is the only parody I’ve ever read and we love it:

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61ETSfqsfkL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

  • Harv

    did you read it? If so, believe it’s untrue, or is it that you don’t think his story of cultural dislocation is valid despite being raised by folks from the holler and spending summers there?

  • Steve

    I got through most of it. There’s only so many ways to call people moral failures for not overcoming the economic hurdles that someone like Vance never actually had to face before I get sick of it. Summering around people is nowhere near the same as actually living in their shoes.

    I pointed to Craig Calcaterra’s (someone who actually grew up in that kind of town, though, like Vance, the child of someone with a secure job) review the last time the book came up here, and I will again.

    http://craigcalcaterra.tumblr.com/post/149379874832/hillbilly-elegy-good-memoir-crap-political

  • mgbode
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