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Clickbait, Skip Bayless, Browns in London, Jeff Fisher: While We’re Waiting

Vincent Alexander

Some weeks there are a cornucopia of topics that have been festering on the mind and there is relief in just getting the topics out onto these pages so that the mind might find more peace. This week has been one of them.

Clickbait winning

There was an outstanding thread about clickbait policies that began with how it applies to politics but ventured into modern day media in general. A fair warning though that once you start thinking about the topic, you notice it even more in your daily life.

The basic premise being there are too many machinations favoring clickbait over quality. ESPN is an easy example when their programming highlights people yelling at each other while burying their outstanding Outside the Lines or E:60 reporting to odd-hour viewing.

via @LukeRussert

via @LukeRussert

Over the course of Tuesday, I attempted to track when I successfully avoided clickbait versus when I succumbed to the siren call. I noticed that anything marked promoted I barely even noticed. My mind has successfully managed to filter past those ads. Similarly, anything that is obviously a link to a listicle or had extreme hyperbole attached went by the wayside. However, items with GIFs or that had vaguely interesting topics with easy response mechanisms were my kryptonite.

VOX might have won the internet for the single dumbest thing ever said by a major media corporation, which takes some doing. The fact that the premise revolved around Star W-A-R-S not admitting to be about “war” was fruit too close to the ground not to kick.

Graphics again were my undoing as Cleveland Scene’s fake contest for renaming the Indians has some admittedly cool designs despite ignoring both Fellers and Rapids as obvious monikers (not to mention the single greatest logo in sports). It was enough to get my brain thinking and pulled into a conversation on the topic online.

All is not lost though as clickbait might be winning the war, but it is losing at least one battle. Skip Bayless is about as clickbait as they come spouting off words whose only intent seems to be to create controversy without any basis in a known reality to the rest of humanity.

The hottest of takes are not saving his show from dying. Bubble Guppies is colorful, has some specific messages, and catchy tunes on Nickolodeon and is crushing him in the ratings.

Then again, the lyrics to Bubble Guppy songs sound as if someone was asked on the spot to come up with them. So, perhaps children clickbait is still winning the day.

Theme Song
Bubble bubble bubble, guppies, guppies, guppies
Bubble bubble bubble, guppies, guppies, guppies
bubble! bubble! guppies! guppies! bubble guppies

Lunch Song
What time is it? It’s time for lunch
What times is it? It’s time for lunch
What times is it? It’s time for lunch
Hey, what’s for lunch

Quick hitters

Myles Garrett

As long as the Cleveland Browns don’t mess things up, they will have the No. 1 overall pick in the 2017 NFL Draft. Myles Garrett, a pass rushing specialist out of Texas A&M, is by far the best player coming out of this draft in terms of talent. He happens to also have an outstanding work ethic and character by all who have reported on him. Don’t mess this one up. Trust the board. Just draft Garrett.

Browns in London

I have not seen anyone make note that there is another sadness about the Browns sacrificing a home game to London in 2017. The opponent is the inter-conference Minnesota Vikings. Due to the rotating NFL schedule, the Vikings only travel to Cleveland once every eight years. So, by giving up that home date, the Vikings might have 16 years between trips to Cleveland. The Miami Dolphins are in a similar situation with the New Orleans Saints, which I feel adds to the unfairness.

Jeff Fisher

Giving a head coach who is past his prime and has been middling during his entire tenure a two-year contract extension is dumb. Firing him eight days later is an unprecedented colossal mistake. The only plausible change that could have occurred during that eight day term is if a surefire head coach (basically Jim Harbaugh) told the Rams front office that he would accept the job. Anything else will come off as incredibly stupid. Or worse, laundering money to Fisher and his agent who happens to be the father of the current GM of the Rams.

Stipe Miocic demands to be read

Seriously, you do not have to be a UFC fan to appreciate Miocic’s essay he wrote for WFNY that posted on Tuesday. He is a Clevelander that loves the city, who is constantly showing his appreciation. Great example of some quality stuff. Here’s a snippet, but go read the whole thing:

Another memory from that night was the “After Party”. It was my coaches, wife, brother, cousins, a friend from the fire department, and a couple of guys from the UFC—maybe 13 people total in a deserted banquet room lobby of our hotel. We were drinking wine and laughing like idiots, and it was the coolest party of my life. The next day, someone sent me the picture of Werdum hitting the mat with 2:16 on the clock. I couldn’t believe it, but looking back on it, it seems like destiny.

  • Garry_Owen

    Hitler was elected with 33% of the German vote.

  • chrisdottcomm

    Yes, I have always seen that and agree.

    I have only stated that there in my view there are many false equivalencies of evil between the two candidates.

  • Garry_Owen

    With that logo? Perfect.

  • Steve

    I long for the days when people in this town actually understand how small market teams in MLB operate successfully so the team doesn’t have to play that kind of charade. We will never outbid bigger markets for guys they want. So when we do get a Swisher or a Bourn, it’s because they likely have some flaw that scared away teams that can value wins at a higher dollar price. A team in Cleveland will always be successful by developing Lindors and Kipnises and Ramirezes and Santanas and Klubers and Carrascos and Salazars and Allens while filling in the gaps with decent minor leaguers like a Naquin or small trades like a Guyer.

    They’ve built a 90 win team on paper assuming that Brantley misses time, and Aguilar is a regular. They are building a team the right way, and there isn’t a lot they need to be doing.

  • chrisdottcomm

    Cookie and Danny were here all regular season

    Brantley is the real prize.

  • mgbode

    I’d argue we didn’t have the real Danny since his arm started bugging him in June though

    But, yes, I’m hoping the attached tendon from bicep to shoulder heals better than the repaired labrum

  • Hopwin

    It is all fun idle speculation on our parts 🙂

    If the franchise does anything I guarantee we will have no say in it either way.

    I still remain firmly entrenched in the “Never-Spiders” camp though.

  • chrisdottcomm

    Standing applause.

    …. I was tongue in cheek with my Antonetti/Brantley comment.

  • Garry_Owen

    I debated shedding the cloak of anonymity. Ultimately, I decided it was time. Anonymity gives you a shield to say things you wouldn’t otherwise say to someone’s face, and I’ve been guilty of that on many occasions. I’m done with that now.

    Also, the photos were going to reveal my face and name, anyway, so I figured there was no harm.

    The good news is that my face is (mercifully) forgettable, as is the name.

  • Hopwin

    Aguilar is a joke though. I don’t know how many times we have to call him up before the stat-wizards determine he is a career minor-leaguer…

  • Absolutely. That logo is gold, Jerry. Gold!

  • jpftribe

    As opposed to a scumbag whose foreign policy decisions were paid for by foreign governments and global corporations via a global charity? And whose decisions resulted in the mindless slaughter of millions of innocent people who happened to be born in a country not the USA?

  • chrisdottcomm

    Bannon, Tillerson, Flynn, Devos are all names that everyone should fear 5x more than Trump.

    ….which sucks cause I fear Trump as well.

  • Steve

    I got it, and as someone who would be perfectly fine not paying Encarnacion, and bringing in this year’s version of Napoli and Davis and being done, I’m still as annoyed with that type of talk from the front office as anyone else.

    At some point, fans have to realize that the Indians have to develop stars, not buy them, and to stop giving a crap as to who wins the offseason (last year it was the White Sox, and the year before the Padres, how did those work out?). I would be absolutely on board with the Indians hitting them over the head with a frying pan that developing Ramirez last year was better than any guy they could have signed.

  • chrisdottcomm

    “But, until things are stated plans or put into action”

    There is plenty of action taking place, none of it good.

  • chrisdottcomm

    “The whole system is set up so that one branch can’t totally tank everything.”

    The years 1928 and 1929 disagree.

  • chrisdottcomm

    “presidents should not have the authority they have recently been allowed to exercise.”

    This is a very under reported/discussed topic over the Obama administration. The grab/use of Executive power in that timeframe is astounding.

  • Steve

    They’ve known, and treated him, like a career minor-leaguer for years now. He’s not starting. When Brantley had surgery last offseason, the OF depth chart looked like Chisenhall-Almonte-Ramsey/Walters. They pieced together a competent OF anyway. They’ll do the same at 1B/DH despite a similar looking depth chart.

  • Sam Gold

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • JNeids

    “Draft him as soon as we officially have the first pick. Seriously. I’d love to see that kind of certainty. No smoke screens, no four months of drama, no bull. On Sunday, finish 0-16. On Monday, draft Garrett. On Tuesday, sign him.”

    There would still be at least one mock draft that would have us taking someone else. You know, just to cover the bases and be able to say “I nailed that pick with mock draft 13.c.2!”

  • chrisdottcomm

    Money spent on platoon/depth/development sure looks like money better spent than on injured “stars” (Hafner, Swisher, Bourne) in my book.

    I wish people would understand the hesitation by our market team to dump $20 million a year on Edwin with the possibility of a fluke pulled hammy in August versus that $20 million on avoided arbitration with homegrown talent.

  • Steve

    Strongly worded statements that are par for the course when it comes to top politicians, sadly. There are very few politicians who are not considered to be in the bag for the highest bidder. Mike Pence needed only 100k to say that smoking doesn’t kill. And superpowers’ global efforts have been killing innocents since long before America was even a country. These aren’t excuses, these are things that need to be fixed, but the idea that suddenly now we are concerned about them is laughable.

  • nj0

    Agreed. Every media outlet has some sort of bias. Rather than admit this, many establishment liberal ones insist on portraying themselves as purveyors of objective truth. But I was there! I witnessed months of obvious bias: pushing Clinton, impeding Sanders, demonizing Trump. So now, don’t expect me to assume the worse, New York Times. I trust you less than I ever have before.

  • Hopwin

    Toxic Algal Bloom

  • Chris

    125 Comments! Clickbaiting at its best!

  • Garry_Owen

    I scrolled all the way down here because it said that Comment #125 would shock me.

    Fooled again.

  • Eric G

    You forgot:
    “Outside. Outside. Outside, everybody. Outside.
    Line up, everybody. Line up. Line up. Line up and get, get, get, get outside, Bubble GuppiEEEEs!”

  • Chris

    You might also be interested in…
    Cupcakes from Hell! The 12 worst baking disasters in Home Economics history!
    Rogue Children! These infants keep soiling themselves… and getting away with it!
    Prove your dead brother is not your child’s father! These four stories will make you question humanity!

    Nevermind… that last one might have been Maury. Which now that I mention it, Maury and Springer were the TV equivalent of clickbait.

  • Garry_Owen

    See, I saw “Rogue,” and thought this was about the new Star Wars movie, clicked, and then . . . it was just a Maury Povich joke.

  • mgbode

    There is far more going on in those lyrics than any other song in that show.

    Also, finally…took 129 comments to get some Bubble Guppy talk going. The entire post was a charade to talk BG and no one took the bait. UNTIL NOW!

  • mgbode

    *whistling*

  • jpftribe

    Now there’s some uniform options……

  • mgbode

    Sorry, Seahawks beat us to the Toxic Algae Bloom uniforms

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzrAZgpXgAAitZ2.jpg

  • Skulb

    Yes, too bad none of those were on the plate though. Hillary apparently didn’t know that assassinating a foreign head of state was against both US law and international law when she gloated on TV about having Ghadaffi murdered. She is also apparently unaware that trying to provoke nuclear war with Russia is a bad idea, something even the first bag lady wandering half naked through the streets of DC might have been able to grasp. Let’s make her president instead!

    But I could write book right here detailing precisely why Hillary Clinton can’t be trusted with so much as a hot dog stand. If you want to find out about that you probably will without my help though. And if you don’t want to find out about it my book would have been pointless anyway. Run any other democrat in this election – hell just any other person period – and Trump would have lost elegantly. It is because the corrupt democrats chose to run the very worst person hiding in their midst that he got elected. So you can blame them for that too. Like I said: rather a dead horse than Hillary. And millions feel exactly the same way apparently. If you ask me the dead horse would both make a better president and be a whole lot cheaper. Just haul the carcass into the Oval on inauguration day and remember to change the wunderbaums once a week. No corruption, no more pointless wars and no more sellout trade deals for eight years! Hooray!

  • Skulb

    Yep. Not pretending that anything to better. Just explaining why he got in. Large amounts of people want change and have been wanting change for a decade and a half, if not longer. Deny them this change for long enough and they’ll vote for anything. That’s how Hitler got into power after all, so it’s nothing new.

  • Skulb

    The Constitution has been nothing but a museum exhibit since 1913, when the US financial system was signed over to the Federal Reserve. Everything DC has done in the 103 years since has been an effort to make as many people as possible forget that it’s even in the museum at all. It is a curious anachronism to me when people on all sides of every debate insist on bringing up the Constitution they have been trying so vehemently to destroy themselves.
    As for the rest of it, you can’t have science dictate policy without ending up in an unaccountable technocracy. Economic, social and political justice are not scientific subjects. Therefore politics is not a scientific endeavor. Besides, scientists are just as corruptible, fallible and selfish as anyone else. They go where the money and accolades are these days, and truth takes a backseat to profit, prestige and personal gain.

    And as a reminder, I am terribly cynical here. All my life things have been getting worse. More corrupt, more unjust and more larcenous. Wealth has been replaced by debt and freedom (whatever freedom can exist in this imperfect place) by over regulation and tax gouging. Why should anything all of a sudden change now, when we’re on such a nice roll?

  • Steve

    Except, again, they didn’t really vote for change. Congress is pretty much the same. Trump’s advisory team was filled with DC insiders. Trump is almost the living definition of kleptocracy. People didn’t want change. They just didn’t want Clinton, and are throwing whatever they can at the wall to explain why.

  • Steve

    I can’t help but laugh at the idea of those on the right suddenly being so perturbed by the violent removal of an enemy head of state that murdered protesters and committed countless human rights abuses. If instead of already being half-dead in a spider hole, Sadaam had loyal soldiers prepared for a firefight when he was captured, like Gaddafi, I’m 100% confident that Republicans would have had no problems with an assassination of a foreign head of state.

    As far as nuclear war, it was your guy who asked why we can’t just nuke people multiple times.

    Democrats had nothing to do with the GOP selecting Trump in the primaries. The right not only picked him, they’ve refused to reject the legit crazies that have come out of the woodwork as Trump gained steam. The right has moved from the small government party to, well, something completely different that’s hard to describe.

    “No corruption, no more pointless wars and no more sellout trade deals for eight years”

    Count me in for no corruption, no pointless wars, and good trade deals. And probably a lot of those on the left would likely agree. But the idea that the GOP is any cleaner than the Dems, and that Trump is any less corrupt or more interested in helping the American worker (see his entire history of outsourcing production and screwing small business workers) than Hillary is mindboggling. And, as I said, corruption, pointless wars, and trade deals didn’t make a difference in Congressional voting results. Either people didn’t actually want to end those, or they are really that easily tricked.

  • Skulb

    There seems to be some confusion here. I’m not on the right and none of these people are “my guy”. Everything she, and NATO, did in Libya is still illegal, and in my view they are all crazy in DC. But Hillary might just be the most crazy of all of them, and it scares me when people don’t even seem to notice. It seems to have escaped people’s attention, but it is none of Washington’s business what goes on in other nations, and it is not acceptable for politicians in the largest republic on the country to systematically act as if it is. The UN Charter was specifically written to prevent military interventions except in cases of dangerous aggression, like with Nazi Germany and Japan. Attacking countries because of internal problems, like NATO did to Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya, can be abused you see. You can simply lie about atrocities, like Hitler did about Poland and the US about Libya, Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan, and bombs away! That’s precisely why Milosevic was put on trial and why Saddam was attacked the first time. Because they were considered, wrong or right, to be aggressors. Not because they were “evil dictators”. It is illegal top invade countries because of evil dictators. Bush SR therefore needed to goad Saddam into attacking someone before he could have his precious war there.

    The only way this election would excite me is if not a single person voted for either of the corrupt, elitist parties that have monopolized US politics. I want peace, economic development, justice, freedom and truth. Nothing else interests me politically. But clearly, neither party is the slightest bit interested in any of this, so why vote for them if you’re me? So please, at least stop arguing against me as if I’m “on the right”. It’s insulting, which you would know if you knew me. I marched in the streets against the disgusting Bush regime. And I have argued against and protested the vile foreign policies pushed under Obama and Clinton. Like I said: they are all disgusting frauds to me. Please let me despise all of them in peace.

  • Charlesfsmith

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  • Eric G

    I actually don’t mind the show that much. My girls love it. Nonny is clearly the best Guppy.

  • mgbode

    The show itself is fine in the cookie cutter way that most of them are. And, the tunes to the songs are catchy enough. It’s just that repeating the same word over and over drives the insanity levels (my kids have each loved the show at the appropriate age as well).

  • Steve

    Like I said, “Count me in for no corruption, no pointless wars, and good trade deals”

    You can rewrite my entire post, just replacing “your guy” with “the other guy” and it works just as well.

    If you are against all those things you mention, then sure, you don’t like Hillary. You also don’t like just about any politician, like you said. This idea that Clinton is the breaking point for anyone is laughable. Either they, like you, despise all that stuff, and can’t stand any politician, or are just tribalistic and turn their head when their own team does the despicable stuff.