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Browns’ uniforms will be Horrible Holidays on Saturday

Terrelle Pryor Cleveland Browns Miami Dolphins
Cleveland Browns

In the midst of the merriment of the holidays, the Cleveland Browns are taking on the San Diego Chargers in a rare Saturday afternoon game. The 5-9 Chargers, lead by quarterback Philip Rivers, currently sit at the bottom of the AFC West—but that shouldn’t stop the Browns from advancing to a near-perfect 0-15.

On Wednesday evening, the Browns announced on Twitter their plans to wear brown jerseys, white pants and brown socks for the Christmas Eve game.

It’d be absolutely ridiculous to ignore Christmas and Hanukkah when naming this uniform look, so I’m going to go with the Horrible Holidays. After all, there’s no way this game goes anything but horribly, right?

Because Week 16’s game is on Christmas Eve, the Horrible Holidays should be easy enough to ignore. There are presents to wrap and cheesy potatoes to eat, Grandmothers to visit and baby cousins to squeeze. If you need some ideas for occupying yourself during the day, though, I’ve got you covered.

If, for some reason, you’re choosing to subject yourself to witnessing the Horrible Holidays in person, I have a lot of questions for you. But it turns out, the first 3,500 fans inside FirstEnergy Stadium on Saturday will be “gifted” a Duke Johnson elf. This raises a lot more questions for me, like will there even be 3,500 fans in attendance and who want this?

If you’re attending, watching or paying attention to the Horrible Holidays in any way, best of luck. Here’s hoping for a Christmas miracle. As always, here’s a reminder of what the Browns have worn—and how they’ve fared—so far this season:

Week 1: The Crabby Creamsicles
Jersey: White
Pants: Orange
Socks: Orange
Result: L @ Philadelphia Eagles, 29-10

Week 2: Blandy Corn
Jersey: White
Pants: Brown
Socks: Orange
Result: L vs. Baltimore Ravens, 25-20

Week 3: The Brown ‘n’ Outs
Jersey: Brown
Pants: White
Socks: Orange
Result: L @ Miami Dolphins, 30-24 (OT)

Week 4: The Whipe Outs
Jersey: White
Pants: White
Socks: Brown
Result: L @ Washington Redskins, 31-20

Week 5: Poo Jackson
Jersey: Brown
Pants: Brown
Socks: Brown
Result: L vs. New England Patriots, 33-13

Week 6: Duck, Duck, Lose
Jersey: White
Pants: White
Socks: Orange
Result: L @ Tennessee Titans, 28-26

Week 7: The Puntkins
Jersey: White
Pants: Orange
Socks: Brown
Result: L @ Cincinnati Bengals, 31-17

Week 8: The Battered Barrels
Jersey: Orange
Pants: White
Socks: Brown
Result: L vs. New York Jets, 31-28

Week 9: The Cookie Crumbles
Jersey: White
Pants: White
Socks: Brown
Result: L vs. Dallas Cowboys, 35-10

Week 10: The Pathetic Pasties
Jersey: White
Pants: White
Socks: White
Result: L @ Baltimore Ravens, 28-7

Week 11: The Tic-Tac-D’OH!
Jerseys: Orange
Pants: White
Socks: Orange
Result: L vs. Pittsburgh Steelers, 24-9

Week 12: The Lousy Leftovers
Jerseys: Brown
Pants: Orange
Socks: Orange
Result: L vs. New York Giants, 27-13

Week 13: BYE

Week 14: Bengal Bait
Jerseys: Brown
Pants: Brown
Socks: Orange
Result: L vs. Cincinnati Bengals, 23-10

Week 15: The Frost Bites
Jerseys: White
Pants: Brown
Socks: Orange
Result: L @ Buffalo Bills, 33-13

  • RGB

    Cowards…

  • Sam Gold
  • RGB

    Dammit. Now I have to redo 0-15.

  • Natedawg86

    “Cheesy potatoes” lmao. Move outside of Ohio (I’m in Maryland) and bring these babies to a potluck takes you to office hero status

  • NankirPhelge

    Oh wow, it’s been four hours since the Browns announced their new costume choice and I’m still . . . um, excited. I better contact my doctor.

    Instead of having weekly uniform reveals next year, maybe the Browns can Tweet out their favorite teen idols.

  • NankirPhelge

    RGB, if there’s anybody who can top you, it’s you.

    BTW, I still chuckle over that guy in the car wash.

  • Patriciarburkhardt

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    !mj221d:
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  • jamierules

    Santa meets Fight Club?

  • Sam Gold

    Apologies. I blame Jessica.

  • Sam Gold

    Second rule of FC: don’t get hammered and try to fight a bumper with your face.