Browns Friday Fumble – Baltimore – WFNY Podcast No. 553
November 10, 2016Browns’ Danny Shelton named Pro Football Focus’ midseason All-Pro
November 10, 2016Yo, Cleveland, what’s up? How about that election, eh? That was … something.
It was definitely some thing. Several things really. Nouns. Adjectives. Interjections. Prepositions? Onomatopoeia? Maybe even parts of speech I don’t even think have been discovered yet, like semipronouns or zerbs.1 But we’re not here to talk about that, we’re here to talk about sport! So while we’re waiting…
Reminder: Michael Martinez had the deciding at-bat in possibly the most significant baseball game of all time, when accounting for competitiveness and stakes. Reminder: Miguel Montero had the decisive RBI in Game 7 of the World Series. 2016 Cleveland Indians already have my sincerest love and appreciation, and some week I will have the emotional and temporal distance to have some perspective about the end of the Indians’ season, BUT IT ISN’T THIS WEEK. YES, I’M HANDLING THIS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE. WHY DO YOU ASK?
So, the Cleveland Browns are bad. You hear about this, did you know about this thing? The Browns are abysmal, pathetic, and winless, and I have never cared less. The valuation of my emotional investment is $0.00. But why? I think the problems are twofold.
First, my attachment to NFL football has been fading for some time. Some of the reasons for my disinterest are personal and idiosyncratic (the league has no self-awareness and is poorly run, I discovered fantasy football is stupid, I think it’s an inferior product to college football with no personality, and its games are a 3.5-hour lecture from corporate America). Additionally, many of the problems are widespread and not unique to me. Spencer Hall at SB Nation tackled the declining TV ratings across the league.2
It’s not that I won’t watch the NFL, or don’t completely care. I do. I care exactly enough to want to know what happened, and not enough to do any of the work involved. People do this work for me all over the place, and it is all free, and I can consume it and be just aware enough all while still having the time to watch other, shorter things I enjoy way more than four hours of soul-deadening NFL football.
Even if I do enjoy NFL football, I can watch RedZone, the show where the entire program is made of touchdowns. You can entertain blind rhetorical swipes at why the NFL is now undeniably bad: whether the rules, which have always been arbitrary and dumb, are now unacceptably arbitrary and dumb; whether the “quality of play” has declined, as if that’s anything sports fans cared about or could even recognize; or whether the league allowing athletes to protest has sparked a completely unsubstantiated backlash from invisible viewers. Or you could consider that the mode of delivery is now different, and years of the sports populace becoming internet savvy have resulted in a bulk departure from the traditional means of content delivery.
As for what the NFL does to combat it? Um … nothing. It can’t do anything about this at all. It can try retrograde legal tactics, which is what every aging monopoly does on the advice of its attorneys.
All of this to say, how essential is watching a lot of this stuff anymore? I can osmose what transpired in nearly all NFL games in less than 30 seconds on the internet, browsing a handful of sites in between dollops of smut if I so choose.
The problem is doubly bad for the Browns. They’re winless. They’re bad. Their secondary might be the worst unit I’ve ever seen in professional football. Watching them after the Cleveland Cavaliers title run and the Indians near-title run is like waking from a beautiful dream by having a bucket of ice water dumped on you. They’ve been bad for 17 consecutive seasons, give-or-take 1.5. I don’t need to watch the Browns play the Cowboys or the Titans, I’ve already seen that movie 100 times since 1999. It’s not lost on me that this very website enables this kind of semi-passive following — that I help provide (free) surrogate content so that people don’t need to watch the Browns or even the Cavaliers. I don’t know how to feel about that.3
I will never stop caring about the Browns, and I will never root for another team. But I’m asking myself questions this season that I never have before. Craig hinted at many of them this week. How much damage can an organization do to fans before totally alienating them? What’s the point of investing emotion, time, or money in a team designed to suck? The current Browns organization is basically asking fans to embrace the NFL’s version of the Philadelphia 76ers, an experiment that is just going splendidly for them (the 76ers are 0-7 in Year 4 or 5 of “The Process”). Anyway, here’s to the Browns giving the Baltimore Ravens a semi-competitive game on Thursday night. Maybe they can improve to 1-10! The Browns will probably have my attention on Thursday night and the rest of the season, but it won’t be full and won’t be undivided. Why should it be?
Random Calvin and Hobbes strip of the day. Though Calvin’s glibly self-aware of his many flaws and has devilish sophistication for his age, sometimes it’s easy to overlook how wonderful the whimsy of his imagination is. It’s certainly one of the strip’s many magical qualities. Plus, there’s something joyful and reassuring about looking at cartoon pictures of dinosaurs from time-to-time.
And now for the random 90s song of the day. The R90sSotD has historically given little attention to boy bands, mostly because their music was terrible. But boy bands undeniably played a central role in the 90s, and their tackiness and dubious artistic merits contributed to the “aura” of the 90s as much as alternative rock. So here’s a cover of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” by the Alabama Shakes’ Brittany Howard and My Morning Jacket’s Jim James. The string section and piano interlude in the middle add a touching dimension to the smash pop hit — no offense to Nick, Howie, A.J., Brian, and the other one. Because it was written by Swedish pop kingmakers, the lyrics don’t make any sense — but then again, neither did the 90s. The song was commissioned by burrito giant Chipotle for an animated short film about love (can’t make this stuff up, people), compounding layers of absurdity until all your brain can handle is listening to the Backstreet Boys or watching a Browns game.
Tell me why
Ain’t nothing but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain’t nothing but a mistake
Tell me why
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way
109 Comments
… i think it would look great on you.
If it makes you feel better, my son has one in his closet we got for $60 at Dick’s last year.
“please tell me how did such a bankrupt loudmouth loser get to be POTUS ??”
Ahemm… https://media.giphy.com/media/l0K4bjEzZd6h5AHdu/giphy.gif
According to Urban Dictionary, an Zerb is a Pothead.
excellent point !
then i have been known as a Zerb in my time … and i’m not ashamed.
Hillary GIFs trump Trump GIFs. WHAT WAS AMERICA THINKING!?!?!?!?
Love “Dakota” by Stereophonics. One of my all time favorite songs.
“the masses could care less about about the political & economic processes ”
And yet they are overrepresented in Congress and are net recipients when it comes to federal taxation vs spending. This election actually became a reality tv show, which makes it no surprise that it was won by a reality tv star, where who screamed the loudest won, not who understood the issues and how to best fix them.
“Trump is going to surprise some folks”
This is completely lacking in any sort of substance or evidence. It’s a hope and a prayer.
“but please tell me how did such a bankrupt loudmouth loser get to be POTUS”
By making vague promises to those people who don’t have any interest in understanding the political or economic process that any hardships they have are someone else’s fault and he’ll find them a safe space.
Just donate the money directly. Then buy some discarded NFL apparel off of some kid from Haiti.
The Non-Profits get more money, you get a shirt, and some kid from Haiti has money to buy a new shirt.
One of the best bennies of being an expat was discovering the Stereophonics. They are an institution in the UK. I read an article that they toured the US and bombed spectacularly. Another appropriately themed Browns TNF tune…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy3T8FmyeE8
good post … we’ll leave it at that … as in most things , only time will tell.
it is only my opinion that Trump is going to show all these yahoos in Washington how to get things done.
“I’ll say, though, that there was absolutely nothing more irritating (and insulting) than being dragged out in uniform for events like those.”
Really interesting to hear you say that as a vet, Garry. I’ve always felt really awkward and uncomfortable at events where uniformed servicepeople stand up to applause – it feels cheap to me. Like, “I didn’t make any personal sacrifice but I can feel better about myself to cheer!” kind of cheap. And as someone who did not serve, I’m not trying to get on some high horse. Like you said, it felt like those folks were being used as props to make others feel less guilty.
“Trump is going to show all these yahoos in Washington how to get things done.”
What evidence is there that the NYC real estate tycoon, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who has built an empire on the back of lying, scheming, and screwing people over is going to improve Washington in any way? Sure, he’s an outsider in that he wasn’t part of the political establishment. But his practices for decades resemble everything we hate about politicians.
That’s he’s already leaned so heavily on Gingrich is enough evidence about what he’s actually going to do with the yahoos in Washington.
I now understand something clearly after reading through both of your comments: Donald Trump and his supporters are exactly the same as the Browns and their fans. Based on a history demonstrating a consistent modus operandi there is no logical reason to expect anything different going forward yet our belief/hope/wish overrides our otherwise rational perceptions and we act as the contradictory animals we so clearly are.
they have been underestimating the man from the very beginning & yet here he is … again, we’ll see.
I think it is more about overestimating the populace than underestimating Trump.
good post SAM … i’m not quite sure how to respond to that. i never did care for the man , but i have faith in him now … to me , it is refreshing.
i don’t expect him to be everyone’s cup of tea.
i guess even with the new regime , the last draft , the next draft … only time will tell … same with Trump.
Oh, I have no argument with you TB2. This election was truly the lowest of the low offering two deplorable human beings as our choices. Truly the lesser of two evils where there was no lesser, just evil. Nobody wins even if momentarily one group feels elation.
Of course, we are nothing if not hopeful.
“i never did care for the man , but i have faith in him now”
Do you not see an issue with tribalism winning out over logic?
yet this election may end-up being really important … all the boys & girls in Washington know that the people are fed-up & they know Wiki-leaks & everyone is watching … things are gonna change.
I’ve got my popcorn.
not at all , sir … he is the one that got me interested in politics again … the more i have read & watched on the man , i’ve come to appreciate him a little more … and that a NON-politician made it all the way to the presidency blows my mind … i’m all in.
Tribalism > Logic = American Politics
That is not new
I know, and I’m railing against it. It’s a copout to simply say that it’s not new. One of the biggest problems is that people would rather assign blame for problems than fix them.
“they know Wiki-leaks & everyone is watching”
Half of Washington cheered on Wiki-leaks.
I hate it too. We need to develop a system where people actual care about issues and vote for people based on those rather than just by the party indicator next to their name.
Outside that (doesn’t seem likely soon), then we need people willing to have conversations and discussions. Name-calling, burning effigies, and chanting seem to be counter-productive (both sides). Many are difficult topics that don’t have clear cut answers even for people of intelligence either way. But, these conversations need to happen rather than instantly creating walls and self-defense mechanism triggers, which is most of what I have seen this entire election cycle (and most previous too).
“and that a NON-politician made it all the way to the presidency blows my mind”
This keeps rearing up, and it keeps making less and less since to me. Son of a rich man who inherited a fortune and has committed despicable practices on his climb up the mountain – that’s exactly the type of guy we grumble about becoming a politician.
You forgot to add in Ivy League
We are on the exact same page.
And I don’t see how we’re not trending in the wrong direction. The Skip Bayless-ing of media has so clearly extended to the political side too. There was little, mainly because of little interest in, clearheaded discussion. Events of the day had to be decided by a talking head shouting match in five minute segments.
Yeah, one of the few positive indicators of society has been the complete failure of Skip’s new show in the ratings.
In politics, it was that exact style to the point where most journalists now are legit cheering for one side or another during telecasts. CNN actually had to remove their “sideline reporter” at Hillary’s event because she couldn’t stop moping about. Do your job and report. Shouldn’t be that difficult of a concept.
okay … did you vote & care to share ??
I agree. And it’s all about luck. but that’s just my opinion. I know a couple of guys who go to Vegas every year and spend $20K on a league. Degenerate idiots, if you ask me, but they’d just say they were bored.
I sure hope he has been pandering all this time just to get elected. I don’t want to see us lose ground on what i feel are important social issues and the environment.
I voted the other way around, but we’re here now and he’s got my undying support. Go America!
you said the word, “modern.” I’m not sure you’re allowed to do that.
Gingrich and I share an alma mater. It is very telling that the University won’t recognize him as an alumnus until he stops being an ass. That’s the short version of it, anyways.
George Washington wasn’t a politician either when he took office. I can’t wait for Trump to make that comparison.
good post SAGGY … if he does what he said he would do , which many Presidents don’t , then that’s a good start.
CNN’s van jones , who is an african-american & former Obama adviser , went way over-the-top 2 nights in-a-row spewing racial hatred right on national tv … i couldn’t believe what i was watching .
Nail, meet Hammer.
I will double-down on number 6. I can’t STAND these announcers. Premier League announcers are so awesome to listen to. The English just really know how to use the language – and when not to use it at all.
An aside, which is pertinent to the article as a whole. The Premier League is following right in football’s path. Bloated TV contracts and unopposed time slots for their product. Ticketing used to be different, too. Soccer teams used to charge one or two prices for all seats but now they do pricing like the NBA. A team of front office ticket guys from the SA Spurs went and met with Stoke City about a decade ago – and that changed everything.
Why is hockey behind soccer anymore? Because I can watch Man U/Liverpool at 10am on Saturday when there is nothing else on but I’m forced to choose between NHL, NBA, MLB, and maybe even NFL and CFB for a 7pm Thursday game.
I voted Kasich in primary and Clinton in the general, much more out of detest for Trump than love for either candidate. I’m not sure how that wasn’t pretty obvious already or how it pertains to this specific part of the discussion.
Profit is net revenue while proceeds is gross revenue.
no need to be smug … you might’ve decided not to vote at all. or maybe you voted for the 3rd party candidate , or wrote-in one of your own , i don’t know.
as it pertains to this discussion , i detest the Clintons probably more than you do Trump … and it’s no secret she’s not squeeky-clean & has many faults of her own … we could go on & on about her shortcomings , but what good is that going to do ?
i know … but to each his own. if those guys are living the dream & this is what does it for them , then great. we all have our “things”.
you are right , there is a lot of luck involved … but savvy players who know their information , win more than they lose.
It’s interesting to me how, so often, it’s “the Clintons” and not just Hillary. All of Bill’s faults get thrown on her. And, so frequently, the discussion of Trump’s history gets shifted to Clinton not being so clean herself. You want a candidate without the stink on them? I get that. But Trump has more stink than Clinton.
Meanwhile, when it came to “draining the swamp”, incumbents up and down the ballot dominated yesterday. Somehow all the stink on the swamp-residents only stuck to Hillary. It sure looks like a helluva double standard.
https://waitingfornextyear.com/2016/11/color-rushed-browns-to-wear-all-white-on-thursday-night/
Ask and you shall receive:
https://waitingfornextyear.com/2016/11/color-rushed-browns-to-wear-all-white-on-thursday-night/
They ain’t gone:
https://waitingfornextyear.com/2016/11/color-rushed-browns-to-wear-all-white-on-thursday-night/