Johnny Manziel dropped by agent Drew Rosenhaus
April 19, 2016
Ball Played : Cookie is a monster and M`s not the letter of the day
April 20, 2016Happy Thurs- I mean, Wednesday, loyal WFNYers. “While We’re Waiting…” stalwart Will Gibson pulled a hammie, so I got moved up in the rotation this week. May this Wednesday edition tide you over until the pre-pre-weekend. The Cavs have a frothy Game 2 against the Detroit Pistons on Wednesday that I’m already taking pulls of Maalox to prep for, after a grueling Game 1 victory on Sunday. Also, the Indians moved to plus-.500 on Tuesday night, a genuine accomplishment on the 20th day of the Fourth Month given their recent April history. But while we’re waiting …
I know what the Browns are going to do in the draft. Though Joe Gilbert and the rest of the WFNY crew have kept me well-informed of the goings-on before the NFL Draft next week, I don’t follow the draft with stalker-like intensity I once did; it ended up on the cutting room floor with Xbox and fantasy sports. Nevertheless, I think I know what the Browns will do.
It was settled in a phone conversation with my Pops on Tuesday evening (the speaker of any line of dialogue doesn’t matter, given our mutual ambivalence on the situation). “What do you think the Browns will do next week?” “I don’t know.” “Think they’ll take a quarterback?” “I don’t know.” “Who do you think the Rams will take?” “I don’t know.” “Think the Browns will trade down?” “I don’t know.” “I just hope they don’t trade down and draft someone nobody’s ever heard of who’s awful.” “Yeah, I just hope they don’t screw it up.” “Yeah, I hope they don’t just screw it up.” “They’ll probably screw it up.” “They’ll probably screw it up.”
So, there you have it! The Browns will trade down and take someone completely unexpected that will have a career memorable only for its remarkable anonymity. I don’t know who that means the Browns will take, though. Can they draft Justin Gilbert again?
Chris Rock is a genius. I haven’t had time to read anything interesting over the past few days, but last Friday night Comedy Central played three or four Chris Rock standup specials in a row, of which I caught bits and pieces. I’ve been a huge fan of Rock’s for a long time, but you aren’t able to appreciate the brilliance of a standup special until you go a few years without hearing it in its entirety.
Though it should be a criminal act to play Chris Rock censored, I’ve seen and heard his specials enough that I was able to cognitively fill in the blanks. If you are an American outside the loftier tax brackets, Rock speaks to your existence in a transcendent, poignant way. Every great comic makes the audience say, “That’s so true!” but only Rock and a few others make the audience say, “Damn, that’s dead on.”
When I was younger, I thought Chris Rock was funny because he was loud and outrageous and cursed a lot. (I’d embed a video, but Non-Oscars Rock is just too crass for the uninitiated. Click the links herein at your own risk.) But the older I get, the more I realize how effectively and thoroughly Rock deconstructs love (“You’re never gonna get a soulmate. You’re never gonna meet the perfect person. You’re never gonna meet someone that likes Seinfeld and the Wu-Tang Clan. It ain’t happening.”), race (“They call it bootlegging, but that’s just a white word that means ‘drug dealing.'”), and public policy (“You don’t need no gun control. You know what we need? We need bullet control.”). Kevin Hart’s funny, but Rock is an indispensable voice no different from Richard Pryor, George Carlin, George Plimpton, or Mark Twain.
Rock’s an American philosopher, albeit a gloriously profane one. To readers both young and old, if it’s been a long time since you’ve listened to Chris Rock or any other great standup comedian, load or stream some on your phone next time you’re on a road trip. I’ll forever have fond memories of driving to the sounds of Chris Rock, Daniel Tosh, Dave Chappelle, and Louis C.K., such as the time my friend and I laughed ourselves to tears listening to Rock’s “Bring the Pain” on our way back from Indians camp in Goodyear, Arizona, or the time I neglected the speedometer and got a speeding ticket listening to Chappelle’s “For What It’s Worth” outside Athens, Ohio. It’s more than funny, it’s educational in a way they don’t teach in high school civics class.
Your Calvin and Hobbes strip of the day. Nights and weekends aren’t “free” time at all: They’re for watching college football, basketball, pro football, and Netflix. I’m looking for some free time.
And now for the random ’90s song of the day. Here’s one of my favorite live tracks of all time: Pearl Jam performing “Black” at Pinkpop music fest in 1992. I love Pearl Jam, you might love Pearl Jam (you might not), and there’s no sense belaboring that point, here. Just appreciate the visible emotion on Eddie Vedder’s face starting at about the 3:30 mark while Mike McCready wails away on the Fender behind him. Bonus points for smoking a cigarette while playing the drums. Five minutes of pure, long-haired, unshowered, boot-stomping 90s goodness.
I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life
I know you’ll be a star in somebody else’s sky, but why
Why, why can’t it be, why can’t it be mine?
20 Comments
Calvin just gets me.
Agree about Rock. No comic was as fearless or shattered the comic mold like Lenny Bruce, no one was both as searingly honest and stone cold funny as Richard Pryor, and no one right now is as dead on every word – has such perfect pitch – as Rock.
Last few years I’ve been smitten with Louis C.K. Less a trailblazer, but something about his brutal and unselfconscious
honesty.
You all should check out Nick Vatterott. He’s worlds away from Rock in terms of style and substance, but he constantly does things to reinvent the form and is criminally unknown outside of comedy nerd and comedian circles. He’s good friend with T.J. Miller, so hopefully that association will help land him firmly on television where he belongs.
https://youtu.be/VBFKSwMLjC4
http://teamcoco.com/video/nick-vatterott-feels-sorry-for-the-letter-q?playlist=x%3BeyJ0eXBlIjoicmVsYXRlZCIsImlkIjoyMTQ5OX0
https://youtu.be/fVi_8A9Oq6I
being 54 years old , musically , i am stuck in the 70’s … love Led Zeppelin , Aerosmith , The Beatles , Deep Purple , Pink Floyd , Lynyrd Skynyrd , The Guess Who etc. … but there are a few “newer” groups that i would consider pretty good : Stone Temple Pilots , U2 , Green Day & Pearl Jam … since “album sales” are basically a thing of the past … who will be left 20 years from now that can make an impact like Led Zeppelin , The Beatles , U2 & Green Day did ??
imo , the 60’s thru the 90’s will be the greatest era EVER for music … auto-tune , sampling , electronics & downloading are the things of today … where is the integrity & the honest heart-felt songwriting ??
All the yeps for Louis C.K. Love the FX show “Louie” as well. Dark, seemingly mundane “real life” but sweet and funny.
Downloading music from Napster via dial-up…those were the days.
And, I’m an unapologetic-stuck-in-the-80’s music lover. m/
I don’t understand auto-tune. Maybe there are some songs where I don’t know it is used. How the warbley sound was ever appealing to anyone’s ear will forever baffle me.
I hate that it is awful because the process is super nerd cool. Frequency modulated pitch matching; yes please.
Chappelle is my guy. Original Rock was great. His HBO show was before its time, and it should be brought back.
Auto-tune was originated as a tuner, literally. it was only supposed to fix a few blemishes. Then, when T-Pain used it, it became a fun and different vocal synth. But somewhere after that it was completely exploited. That’s when the sadness began. I agree, AT is really cool. But it’s like Airbrush for the ears.
There will be plenty. We used to say that about Britney Spears but – and be honest with yourself – you can probably sing 5 of her songs, no problem, and get happy when you hear them.
Someone hopefully will come along and write something worthwhile, lyrically, but right now the world is in a phase where words aren’t as important. There have been some really great technological advances in music/sound/electronics that have brought that aspect to the forefront, and soon enough that tech will be combined with the right lyrics. It’s an organic process.
Think about it: some of the most revered musicians in history are composers. As far as I know, Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven didn’t write words to their stuff either.
CK is about as organic is comedy can be. He shows “life” and how it’s possible to be dramatic or tragic, yet still be comedic. Everyone uses comedy in different places in their lives. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a funeral where someone isn’t cracking jokes.
Funny stuff makes you feel better. It doesn’t just occur when a person stands on a stage with a microphone. It’s part of life.
good post SAGGY … and yes , i know some britney spears songs , as well as back street boys , n’sync & the spice girls … my daughter is 25 now , but she wore this stuff out in her younger years.
Not a bad place to be stuck!
“Roll with the New” and “Bigger and Blacker” were looped listens in college. Rock is so, so good.
Love Louis as well. With the passing of George Carlin, and the sporadic performances of others like Louis Black, C.K. is arguably the best out there right now.
Not being snarky when I say this but I love that STP, U2, Green Day and Pearl Jam are grouped in as “newer.”
hi SCOTT … for us older fellas , those are “newer” bands.
I loved his show until the last season, which I just liked it but thought it got weirdly preachy. He may have just said all he had to say in the first few seasons.
Black was, at best, the 3rd best song at that Festival. I had that bootleg for many years until an unseemly roommate stole it.
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