Can They Kick It? Yes They Can: Cavs-Bucks, Behind the Box Score
March 23, 2016A Central Question
March 24, 2016Happy Thursday, Cleveland. Thanks for stopping by. We have you covered with all things Browns, Indians, and Cavaliers (good and bad). But no time to waste — on with the nonsense.
Despite my initial desire to never discuss this topic, I’m going to talk about Millennials. [Audible groaning from readers.] I apologize, but unfortunately the generation divide is a persistent topic of discourse that’s infected my day-to-day life. Anytime there’s a seismic shift in culture, labeling it and debating its ramifications for the economy, in the media, in politics, for the workplace, and at home is inevitable — and probably important. There were hundreds of “think pieces” written about “hippies” and how they were or weren’t ruining the country in the 1960s. The discussion over Millennials and their contributions to culture have become ubiquitous, unavoidable, and very silly. Any time a generation comes of age, older and entrenched generations need to complain about these damn kids and their damn computer phones and damn skateboards.
If you were unaware, “Millennial,” at least according to this Pew Research Center article, is the label given to people born between 1981 and 2000 (real clever name, huh?), and the preceding generations (such as Baby Boomers and Gen Xers) hate millennials because they suck.1 For the record, your author is a Millennial; I was born in 1989, and am [counting on fingers and toes] 26 years old. At least in the modernized, developed world, I am literally one of the youngest people who remembers what the world was like before the Internet.
In just the past few weeks, I’ve read about Millennials passing Gen Xers as the “largest generation” in the U.S. labor force, running their own workplace (with genuinely funny results) at “news” website Mic, learning that they’re “much worse off in real terms than their parents,” discovering that “debt, unemployment and property prices have combined to stop millennials taking their share of western wealth,” becoming ” Internet punching bag[s]” (on this website), and finding that Boomers and Xers are “making life too hard for millennials” (via a New York Times op-ed by Boomer Steven Ratter).2 I’ve heard about Millennials and the challenges of managing them in classes, at work, and at professional conferences. There were also the insufferable, endless circle jerks in the past six months in which media outlets penned open letters to either to Millennials or on behalf of Millennials, a Millennial wrote an open letter to her CEO at Yelp (she was fired), someone claimed to write the “The Absolute Last Open Letter” to millennials (he lied), and a Millennial at GQ wrote a (sort of) tongue-in-cheek “Millennial’s Open Letter to Millennials Writing Open Letters.”3
This is not an open letter.
But this is hopefully the most even-handed thing you’ll read about Millennials or Baby Boomers or Gen Xers, because my natural disposition is to dislike everyone equally.
Obviously, sweeping generalizations about people born during a certain time period are going to vary greatly in accuracy. But the generalizations exist for a reason: They’re mostly true.
Millennials have a lot of negative traits associated with them. Millennials are entitled, narcissistic, overly sensitive, whiny, insubordinate, overly dependent (on their bosses, their parents, their technology), mentally fragile, coddled, inattentive, preachy, soft, superficial, needy, impatient, and have terrible taste in music. Not great. But millennials are also collaborative, eager (to learn, to change, to share), imaginative, innovative, ideological (as most young people are when they’re young), tolerant, open-minded, creative, empathetic, and entrepreneurial.
And while Baby Boomers and Gen Xers4 are industrious, competitive, independent, diligent, obedient, professional, dogged, loyal (Boomers), original (Xers), and corporate, they’re also narrow-minded, complacent, selfish, apathetic, conventional, callous, stuffy, materialistic, fearful, combative, litigious, wasteful, short-sighted, conformist,5, corporate, and have terrible taste in music.
So, the million dollar question for me, as a Millennial: Does my generation suck? Of course my generation sucks! It’s awful. But so is your generation.
For as crummy as Millennials are, older generations can’t blame my generation for screwing up the planet. We just got here.
This isn’t meant to be a sob story for a generation that has the highest standard of living the world has ever seen, and has never faced collective hardship on par with something like World War II or the Great Depression — but policy failures by the generations running the show for the last few decades have given Millennials less promising prospects (comparatively) than preceding generations. No one has to like Millennials — but everyone has to accept that global and domestic failures that come at their expense have serious political, social, and cultural ramifications. So you’ll have to excuse Millennials for rejecting the status quo.
Millennials are defective in a number of ways; but so is every generation, especially to the generations that preceded (remember when Boomers were going to end the world with all that sex and rock and roll?). For every terrible conversation I’ve had with a 20-something human social media avatar staring at a screen, I’ve sat through some unimaginative business-as-usual B.S. from members of a previous generation that never had the creativity or the will to improve it. If humanity wants to give future generations an opportunity to succeed and improve, then Millennials, Boomers, Gen Xers, and whatever undoubtedly horrible generation that follows need to cooperate, learn to understand and deal with one another, and use a little ingenuity to solve problems. But, if recent history is any indication, we’ll probably just keep complaining about one another.
Cookie Monster is awesome. I just wanted to share that. He might have some full-blown substance-abuse issues, but if you love anything that’s not unhealthy as much as CM likes cookies, you’re probably one of the happiest people in existence. I don’t mean to pimp Apple products, but I thoroughly enjoyed the iPhone commercial below with Mr. Monster baking cookies. It cracks me up. I dare you to watch a blue puppet eat a wooden spoon while listening to Jim Croce’s “Time in a Bottle” and stay in a bad mood. I also threw in a second video for no charge in which CM tries to guess what’s in Kermit the Frog’s mystery box for your viewing enjoyment. People age two to 100 agree that Cookie Monster’s just the realest dude out there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCbWyYr82BM
Your Calvin and Hobbes strip of the day. Spring isn’t great for everyone (snowmen, salt trucks, skiers, winter coat salespeople, snow shovels, vampires, polar bears), but I for one welcome the longer days, baseball, playoff basketball, and warmer weather.
And now for the random ’90s song of the day. I hate to have a somber R90sSotD. The R90sSotD is supposed to be fun, joyous, and a trigger for good memories — a real day-starter. But with the unfortunate passing of Phife Dawg, I’d be remiss not to have A Tribe Called Quest song fill this space today. May your heart be heavy, but your vibes be good. The jazz intro on this track would sound at home in a 2016 Kendrick Lamar song. “This is for the slain rappers and the fallen rappers, you know what I’m saying? This is a special, special, special, special, special dedication. … Cause this is Vibes and Stuff, and we out… .”
Go out on my own, something that I gotta do
Do what the hell I want and have no one to listen to
I’m prompt with my business and I do things on the double
Yo, I’m out like Buster Douglas, I say peace to MC Trouble
Rest in Peace
- Millennials are also said to belong to Generation Y, which sounds pretty stupid. In the Pew article, the cutoff birth date for Millennials is 1997, but I assume that’s only because people born in 1997 are just turning 18, meaning they were capable of entering the workforce and being counted in that poll. If I were drawing the lines in a way that more effectively grouped people based on their social behaviors, shared values, common experiences, and professional characteristics, I would say the beginning of the “Millennial Era” began somewhere in 1985-1990. I think people age 30-34 tend to more closely identify with Gen Xers (the preceding generation) than with Millennials. [↩]
- The last one on that list is the best and most thoughtful of the bunch, should you choose to read one. [↩]
- WFNY’s Jacob mentioned that letter in a recent edition of “While We’re Waiting… .” [↩]
- I know those are two very different generations, but I think most of these traits apply somewhat to both of them. Also, no one cares about Generation X (kidding!). [↩]
- Gen Xers were initially rebellious, but ultimately sold out. [↩]
29 Comments
I am not a Millenial. Jonah Keri had a great piece on it this week though too. Instead of whining and complaining, how about we just all show empathy and care towards each other?
I am a Cookie Monster fan. I was a child when they attempted to make him eat only vegetables. It did not go over well. He is what he is and he ain’t changing.
Anytime you put C&H snowmen in here, my day is at least 10% better.
Terrific post, Kyle. I agree wholeheartedly. You’re very perceptive — you know, for a Millennial. 🙂
And “The Greatest Generation” laughs at us all.
“Also, no one cares about Generation X.”
I don’t know if that was intentional, but it is the funniest thing you said, as one of the primary characteristics of Gen X is that we’re cynical and think nobody is going to do anything for us or care about us. So, you may have been joking, but this rings true to a proud Gen Xer.
I’ve written on other spaces about this generational thing, and I’m extraordinarily interested in it. The (overly simplified) conclusion that I’ve drawn is that we all need each other and should learn from each other. If there are good things about the other generations, then we should embrace those and try to emulate them. And if we relate to any of the truly, objectively bad crap that other generations say about our generation, the best thing we can do is learn from those other generations and stop doing or being that truly, objectively bad crap. (e.g.; Being callous or narcissistic really isn’t a good thing; we should stop being those things.)
And if (this is to Millennials, primarily) you think that your generation is being unfairly denigrated, just wait. The next generation is coming. I know, because two of them are my kids – and we all, including Millennials, have our hands full. You’ll soon find yourselves telling them to get off of your lawns, too. Sorry, your parents’ lawns. (kidding!)
Yeah, but they’re almost gone. That laughter is fading.
“The counts of the indictment are luxury, bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect to elders, and a love for chatter in place of exercise.”
That’s a quote from a 1907 essay about how the ancient Greeks viewed their uppity, irresponsible youth.
The more things change…
I probably said this the first time Kyle posted some C&H snowman art, but I’ve always wanted to attempt to recreate some of it.
In some very interesting and undereported NFL related news…
The NFL has banned chop blocks. I can’t be the only one that perked up to this tidbit.
Bode, thoughts?
“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
–just a guy named “Socrates”
Ahhhh, Jim Croce. Underrated, IMO. Great ad. Apple does such good stuff. Just think if they have to hand over an encryption key – they’ll be stuck making car commercials.
Cleveland’s own, Bill Watterson. Best comic ever – with all due respect to Charles Schulz.
But he was clearly talking about Generation X in the 1980s. I saw a documentary on it.
Best ending to anything. No tv show or book has ended so well…
Him and Nostradumass.
excuse me, i spelled that wrong.
Wyld Stallyns.
It will be interesting to see how closely they enforce it and what stipulations they put through with it. I’ve been too invested in getting ready for the Indians season to dive in on all the details.
But, will OL who lose balance be penalized? Will running backs (as Rick Grayshock noted) not be allowed to block low making blitzes more effective? Double-teams in zone block systems utilize blocks that might or might not be considered chops now.
Lots of questions about implementation here.
Yeah every time I have to help my 90+ year old neighbor with his garbage cans or something, I scoff “Greatest Generation, my ___.”
(I kid, I kid)
Yeah no one cares about Gen X ….anymore. But remember in the late 90s (think Reality Bites, Nirvana grunge era) people cared a lot and would talk about us like we were Satan’s spawn. Ok, maybe not that far, but the talk wasn’t good.
So I’m ok now that we’re in some silly arbitrary generation box that no one cares about, and we can throw rocks at the Millennials.
And if we were Satan’s spawn, what does that make our Baby Boomer parents?
Gen X: Hurling rocks in all directions. (That’s the perk of being the neglected middle kid.)
at some point, everyone needs their ass wiped for them.
I was born in 1981, and I hate that I’m considered a millennial. Put your damn smart phones down and watch the game, and get off my lawn!
That is true. And we’ll have to remind the Millennial baristas that the world needs butt wipers too.
(with apologies to Judge Smails’ “the world needs ditch diggers too”)
just be thankful you’re a millennial & not from the “older generation” … though i have experienced some pretty cool things in my time … now , if we can just get the browns to the super bowl , i can die in peace.
… and who doesn’t like the cookie monster ??
Bernie Sanders seen here in his early “Be Excellent To Each Other” campaign days.
Cookies.
Cookies do not like Cookie Monster.
Ah yes, Nostradumass who was the teacher of So-cratz Johnson and Dennis Frood.
hi CHRIS … browns just signed RGIII … there should be an article any minute.
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