Rough night: Indians fan takes a foul ball off the dome (he’s okay)
September 16, 2015
Is a Taco a Sandwich; Are the Browns a Football Team? While We’re Waiting…
September 17, 2015So you’ve clicked on a wrestling article, and you no doubt feel ashamed. I get it. But you shouldn’t, and I’ll tell you why. Eventually. First, welcome, fellow Clevelander! I say “fellow” loosely, because I’ve never been to Cleveland, but let’s not argue semantics.
My name is Derek Norton [Ed’s Note: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS], and I co-founded Sports Monocle with esteemed WFNY Associate Editor Will Gibson. Will and I met while teaching English in South Korea a few years ago. We didn’t watch wrestling at the time, but fondly reminisced about old favorites like Stone Cold Steve Austin and the New Age Outlaws. When we decided to get into the business of internet snark, we thought we’d devote some time to the best kind of fighting: fake fighting.
And the notion of “fake” fighting is what has given wrestling fans a bad rep over the years. It was assumed that anyone who watched wrestling was just too slow and uneducated to realize that the fighting and outcomes were scripted. I was guilty of this as well. But, to quote David Shoemaker’s excellent Grantland piece on the rise of wrestling in popular culture:
Just like [old-time wrestling promoter] Jack Pfefer said, it’s a fake diamond. And as long as you know the deal, there’s no shame in selling — or buying — a fake diamond.
This awareness is part of what makes wrestling so much fun for me. In other sports, we argue about what can happen. In wrestling, we argue about what should happen. What makes the best story? What would make the crowd cheer the loudest? What can happen that no one is expecting? It’s the original reality show, but with fighting and better acting.
Aside from that, wrestlers are arguably even more impressive athletically than those in other sports. There’s no offseason and, despite wrestling’s scripted nature, there’s really no way to fake getting thrown through a table or hit with a chair. They’re athletes just as much as anyone.
That said, wrestling isn’t perfect. Some of the storylines are idiotic. The commentary is typically on par with the Berman-Dilfer combo from this week’s Monday Night Football nightcap. Subtlety is not only ignored, but outright demolished with constant hyperbole. But when it’s great, there’s nothing like it. And when it’s bad, we get to complain about it! My guess is if you’re visiting a Cleveland sports blog, you’re no stranger to complaining about stuff when it sucks.
The plan is for us to appear in this space before and after each month’s pay-per-view.1 It just so happens that September’s pay-per-view, Night of Champions, is this Sunday. Please enjoy our thoughts and picks on each of the matches on the card. And don’t be ashamed. It’s just a TV show. You’ve watched worse.
What makes the best story? What would make the crowd cheer the loudest? What can happen that no one is expecting? Wrestling is the original reality show, but with fighting and better acting
What makes the best story? What would make the crowd cheer the loudest? What can happen that no one is expecting? Wrestling is the original reality show, but with fighting and better acting
Will: You heard the man, folks. Watching wrestling isn’t all that different from watching the Browns, really. There are things that will make you smile. There are things that will make you laugh. There are things that make you wonder who came up with that awful idea. There are moments of athletic brilliance and others that can only be described as botches. There are ups and downs, smiles and cries, the stuff that anyone looks for in their desired brand of storytelling.
And that, above all else, is what wrestling is about: Storytelling. There are some performers who get by on their physical bonafides, but the ones who really resonate are the ones who can make you care about the angle they’re involved in. Even if the writing is cringeworthy, the great ones can make it work. It wasn’t physique or in-ring skill that set, say, The Rock apart. It was his artistry on the microphone and his reactions that really did it. Good wrestling is good for the same reasons any good story is good. The characters. The motivations. The stakes. The plot can be as simple as The Tortoise and The Hare. If there’s real talent under that shell, you’re in for a treat.
Without further ado: a preview of this Sunday’s pay-per-view, Night of Champions. And if you really like what you see, we do weekly recaps over at Sports Monocle.
Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and their mystery partner vs. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Braun Strowman)
Derek: This here’s a good ol’ fashioned grudge match. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are longtime pals, and they got the band back together when Wyatt Family leader Bray Wyatt interfered in Roman’s Money in the Bank match. Reigns and Ambrose defeated Wyatt and Harper last month at SummerSlam, so Wyatt enlisted the help of this man:
That’s Braun Strowman, who made his debut a few weeks ago and will make his first pay-per-view appearance Sunday night. As it stands now, Reigns and Ambrose don’t have a partner to go against the Wyatts. The narrative goes that no one wants to join because no one wants to fight Strowman. I can’t say I blame them, since Strowman is listed as 6-foot-8 and 385 pounds.2
However, Reigns and Ambrose claim they do have a partner, but have thus far neglected to identify the gentleman. My guess is Samoa Joe, who has yet to make an appearance on WWE’s main roster after spending the past 10 years wrestling for TNA. Presumably, they won’t say until the match starts.
I think the Wyatts come out on top. Strowman has been billed as an unstoppable monster, which means he’s probably got a few more months of monstrous victories in him.
Will: The Wyatts are terrific. They’re gigantic and bearded and almost certainly smell awful. They have a cool entrance and Bray, who is sort of a bayou cult leader type, cuts excellent promos. It isn’t always clear what their motivations are, but they’ve set their sights on Reigns and Ambrose and have tried to scare the rest of the locker room out of joining them.
The big question will be who the third man is. If it’s someone currently on the WWE roster, I expect the Wyatts to prevail. If it’s a needle-moving newcomer, I’m not so sure.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Derek: Don’t watch this. It’s stupid.
Everyone loses.
Will: That isn’t totally true! I mean yes, this feud has devolved something awful — both wrestlers have female sidekicks who have gotten in more than a couple catfights, and those are the high points — but there’s one valid reason for Clevelanders to watch: Dolph Ziggler hails from Cleveland, and he holds the St. Ed’s all-time record with 82 pins. He went on to Kent State and set a (since broken) record for career victories.
That said, he’s now billed from Hollywood, Florida. So yeah, skip this one.
The New Day (Big E and/or Kofi Kingston and/or Xavier Woods) (c) vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) for the Tag Team Championship
Derek: The New Day are a super positive group of Baptist preacher types. No, really, look at their entrance and accompanying video:
They’re also the bad guys. Their positive-to-the-point-of-irritation attitude gets them booed, and they do a great job of soaking it up. There are three of them, and it’s unclear which two are actually the tag team champions — they alternate from time to time.
New Day will square off against the Dudley Boyz, who returned to WWE three weeks ago after a 10-year hiatus. The Dudley Boyz’ gimmick is they like to slam people through tables. If you like to see people get slammed through tables, you’ll like the Dudleyz.
I think New Day retain their titles. It’s not uncommon for older wrestlers to return to put younger wrestlers over, which is wrasslin’ parlance for making them look good. Another title run for the Dudleyz would be fun, but I think WWE is more interested in pushing New Day.
Will: The New Day is one of my favorite things on television, full stop. The upbeat positivity angle was awful when they debuted together, but they have reinvented themselves as heels, and done so brilliantly. Xavier Woods — the trombone player who is also pursuing a real-life PhD — has largely fallen back into a hype man role, which is ideal for him. He hangs out ringside, talks shit during whole matches, and often pulls an underhanded trick to help New Day win. Sometimes he yells unspectacular phrases like “We are the best” at no one in particular, but the dedication and full-throatedness behind them make it work.
Anywho, I also like New Day to retain. I also just like New Day. The only real question is if anyone will go through a table.
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Charlotte for the Divas Championship
Derek: Much to the chagrin of AJ Lee fans everywhere, Nikki Bella is now the longest reigning Divas Champion of all time. AJ, a fan favorite who is married to former wrestler and current MMA fighter CM Punk, retired back in April. Nikki, who stars on the reprehensible reality show Total Divas with her twin sister Brie, is not a fan favorite. She’s not great at talking, and not great at wrestling, and I’m not sure if WWE wants me to like her or hate her. Naturally, she received one of the greatest accolades a female wrestler can obtain. Some would say it’s because she’s real-life dating WWE poster boy John Cena, which isn’t out of the question.
Nikki’s opponent, Charlotte, is someone I think most fans would have been cool with breaking AJ’s record. Charlotte is the daughter of Ric Flair and is way better in the ring. She got a shot at Nikki’s belt on Monday night, but the match was called a disqualification after Brie switched places with Nikki in the middle of the match. They do that a lot, and very little is done to stop it. Wrestling is weird.
I’m picking Charlotte because I don’t think WWE hates me enough to make me keep watching Nikki as champion.
Will: It’s been an odd stretch for women in WWE lately. The females’ division has long been called the Divas Division — charming, isn’t it? A couple months back a group of new wrestlers, Charlotte among them, came up from NXT (WWE’s developmental property) and the unfortunately named Divas Revolution was underway. The purpose of said revolution is ostensibly to get the title away from Nikki, as though that will usher in a new era of women’s liberation. The whole thing has been handled very clumsily, and my hope is that Charlotte will get the win.
Ryback (c) vs. Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship
Derek: Ryback, known as “The Big Guy,” is a large man.
He’s being challenged by upstart smartass Kevin Owens, who is looking to keep momentum going after a great three-month program with John Cena. The feud kind of came out of nowhere, as the two didn’t really go at one another until this week.
If you just look at the two, Ryback is the clear winner. But Owens is surprisingly agile and has a better move-set than Ryback. Ryback hasn’t been champion for very long, so I think he retains for at least another month.
Will: I agree that Ryback is the pick, only because Owens is at his best when he’s aggrieved, and the idea of him going at Ryback for another few weeks is too good to pass up. Owens made a huge splash when he debuted against Cena, and he’s one of the best talkers in the game right now. He’s rather doughy physically, which only makes it more thrilling when he runs and leaps and flips around in the ring. He’s one of my favorites.
Seth Rollins (c) vs. John Cena for the United States Championship
Derek: Last month at SummerSlam, World Champion Seth Rollins faced United States Champion John Cena in a winner-take-all match. Rollins won (after interference from Jon Stewart), so he holds both belts. But, seeing as this is Night of Champions, all titles must be put on the line. Rollins not only has to defend the U.S. Championship against Cena, but also the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Sting later in the evening.
Rollins has been WWE’s resident scumbag since the middle of 2014, and became champion back at WrestleMania. Cena is the greatest human being who has ever walked the earth, and he is worthy of your undying praise.
I see Cena getting his belt back here. People are supposed to hate Rollins, but holding both belts and wrestling two main events make him look like a badass. He’s looked so good for so long that he’s due to be taken down a peg.
Will: Rollins is sublime. So, so, so good. His character is that of any bratty kid you’ve ever known; any slight against him leads to delightful bitching and moaning. He’s also as gifted a worker as there is in pro wrestling, and he kicks it up a notch for big matches. Going twice in one night will certainly be trying,3 but I think he’s up to the challenge.
I have, however, no idea what’s going to happen in either of Rollins’ matches. One would think that he’ll lose at least one of his titles. Cena is always, always, always a good bet to win, and there’s also a strong chance that something screwy happens. Whatever it is, I expect it to be fine viewing.
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sting for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Derek: And here’s the second match of Rollins’ evening. Sting, once considered the greatest wrestler to never appear in WWE,4 made his first appearance last November. He challenged WWE Chief Operating Officer Triple H to a match at WrestleMania, which he lost. He returned the night after SummerSlam, which was welcome despite his questionable motives.
Sting is 56 years old, and Rollins is 29. Rollins is also known for his athleticism and polish in the ring. I have my doubts that Sting will be able to keep up with the pace Rollins wants, but I can’t complain too much about getting to watch a childhood favorite.
It’s tough to say whether this is Sting’s final match, but it’s got to be coming up soon. I hope WWE lets him win a big match at some point before he retires. If it were me, I’d have Sting win the belt. It would obviously be good for Sting, because he would have both a big win and a WWE WHC before he retires. It would be good for Rollins because he’ll lose both belts in one night and it’ll give his character a new challenge. Then Rollins could win the belt back next month at Hell in a Cell. Granted, that would require Sting to have two matches in a month, but it would be cool.
More than likely, Rollins retains and defends his belt against a new challenger in the cell next month.
Will: I just hope Sting can still go. He’s appeared in the ring sparingly over the past month or so, and he’s looked okay even though he’s Kevin Spacey’s age. Again, Rollins is great, and he’s great at making the guy he’s against look great. Rollins’ having another match could provide a nice excuse for this one to go at a slower pace, which would go a long way in making the Stinger look good.
As with Rollins-Cena, I have no idea what to expect. And that’s what it’s all about. WWE is driving this car. I’m just happy to be along for the ride.
- They aren’t quite the same pay-per-views anymore. If you subscribe to the WWE Network, a Netflix-style internet service, you get every PPV included with your $9.99 monthly fee. The shows are still offered individually at exorbitant rates — NOC is $44.99 — but odds are they aren’t long for this world. At some point, a different name than pay-per-view will likely come into vogue, but for simplicity’s sake we’re still referring to them as such. Cool? Cool. [↩]
- Though one commentator said this week Strowman weighed over 450. Again, the hyperbole thing can’t be overstated. [↩]
- Rollins could have a third match as well. A pasty Irishman named Sheamus owns the “Money in the Bank” contract, which he can “cash in” at any time for an immediate shot at the title. He’s tried once on Rollins, but the match never came to pass thanks to a clumsy miscommunication between he and a referee. [↩]
- He spent his prime years in rival WCW. [↩]
27 Comments
I love that you guys are writing a wrestling article. New Day is probably the best thing going right now. And as always, if Cena Wins We Riot!
Love this addition to the site. Good stuff, guys.
I’ve been back as a regular WWE watcher for about 18 months now. The last few months have really tested my resolve. So much talent stuck in mid-card hell. Schizophrenic booking. Killing the momentum the NXT women worked hard to create. Cena is still Cena. Biggest draws are part-timers. I could go on and on. In short, it has become boring and WWE creative seems to prefer resting on their laurels and nostalgia rather trying anything novel or creating new stars. And it’s a shame because, like I said, there’s so much talent. Rollins has done an excellent job considering the previously mentioned schizophrenic, nonsensical booking. Okay, done ranting.
^ all accurate
The Rock smells what your cookin’ and it’s about damn time! I mean what’s the alternative, Cleveland sports?
I think Nikki Bella is legit injured, so taking the title off of her makes sense anyway. Plus, it starts the setup for a Sasha Banks title run, which we all know is inevitable.
I look for Ryback to retain because something tells me Cesaro gets involved for some reason. Rollins will likely lose the US Title, but look for him to retain the WHC, or have Sting win it with some shenanigans, only to have Sheamus take it by cashing in his Money In The Bank contract.
Let’s see…Wyatts should win, because there hasn’t been enough of a build for the 3rd man (it’s gotta either be a new guy coming up or an old guy returning). New Day should retain, because screw you if you take the belts off of them. Plus, it sets up some sort of strange Tornado Tag thing at Hell In a Cell…which would be epic. Dolph Ziggler v. Rusev? I don’t care. I honestly don’t.
WWE has been a let down ever since the name change they have gone total vanilla even when they come up with some good stuff. It all started when McMahon had his problems with the FCC. I still say even though he was never publicly sanctioned he must have cut some sort of deal to “tone things down” which hasn’t helped a majority of these story lines.
It also doesn’t help that you have ex-employees leave then return only to leave again. No continuity. The good news is there is a lot of young talent on the roster but as you mentioned there’s a good chance it might wither on the vine. Kevin Owens, Nevell and even Cesaro should all be getting pushed instead they seem to be stuck in neutral. Owens had a path until he ran into the Cena wall. I like John Cena but even I am growing tired of the same old thing. It’s just been to many years now. They stopped him from tying Rick Flair’s mark so I’m pretty sure he’ll defeat Seth Rollins that way he gets back the US title which should prevent him from chasing the WC title for awhile.
Which brings me to Seth Rollins. I couldn’t stand the guy at first after he split from the SHIELD but the guy is a talent. I predict he will break CM Punk’s consecutive days mark as WC. But I’m interested to see how they end this Sunday’s match with Sting. They can’t have Sting win, can they? It would make no sense. I’m wondering if we won’t see some outside interference say from either Brock Lesnar or The Undertaker. I could envision The Undertake costing Sting setting up some kind of rivalry. That would allow Lesnar to go after Rollins. Down the road they could always have Lesnar and Undertaker meet for the third and final time.
I think the Bellas are about done regardless. I’m hoping Cesaro gets involved he’s to talented to be wasted like he is being wasted. I agree Cena takes back the US Title but I don’t see Rollins losing but there will be some kind of interference. Could be Sheamus or hasn’t Lesnar and Undertaker been noticeably absent, I mean totally absent? Regardless Rollins will keep at least one belt. As for the Wyatts it seems like there is real potential especially with the third member but they don’t have anyone to really go against unless Reigns and Ambrose mystery partner is a game changer and I’m not expecting it. I have a feeling it will be Kane resurrected or worse yet The Rock for a one night only appearance. I also agree about Ziggler (another wasted talent) and Rusev (an even bigger waste of talent). The whole love triangle-foursome thing pales in comparison to the Sable days. Speaking of which Brock Lesnar is much needed IMO but I guess his new contract gives him a lot of time off.
I guess here’s my question about how Money In The Bank works: If Cena demolishes Rollins and take the US Title, can Sheamus IMMEDIATELY cash in the MITB contract for the WHC? If so, does that make the match later in the night Sting/Rollins, or Sheamus/Rollins. I’d like to see something like that happen.
You know, I don’t even care about KO, Cesaro, et al getting pushes. I don’t necessarily need to see them with belts or in the heavyweight picture or pinning Cena. I don’t care about wins and losses. Just give them coherently written, logical story lines that develop from week to week. I’d rather have Owens loss for the next three months in meaningful matches than have him constantly trade victories with Sheamus, Bad News, and everyone else in mid-card hell. Seriously, 75% of RAW is like a Jean-Paul Sartre play. “Hell is other mid-carders.”
I actually like Cena and think he gets an unfair amount of criticism. But I’m feeling the same way. Same old, same old. The US open challenge gave us some good matches, but it really takes something away when you know the challenger has no chance to win. Which is part of a larger problem – there are rarely any surprises on RAW. When I watch, I regularly think how whatever segment or match would NEVER have gotten on TV back when they were competing with Nitro. Back then, there was an urgency about everything they did.
I agree – Cena gets back the U.S. Title (which makes sense since he doesn’t need to have the WC to be relevant). And I’m just as confused about Rollins/Sting. Common sense is that Rollins retains, but who knows. I can’t see Sting coming out of retirement just to lose to HHH at Mania, Rollins at a PPV, and then someone like Taker at the next Mania. They’ve been teasing some friction between HHH and Rollins so maybe they finally pull the trigger on that. The Authority has tired of Rollins and have been secretly helping Sting out the last few weeks? I can see Rollins going face, but I’m not so sure how Sting as a heel would go over. Rumors have also been that we’ll see HHH/Rollins eventually so maybe that’s how they kick that off?
Ever since Rollins used it last time I don’t think anyone knows exactly how it works. That wasn’t the traditional way of the past. You raise an interesting possibility however as to the timing of when Sheamus could use it. Although I would think the more promising scenario would be for Cena to defeat Rollins for the US Title after a grueling match Rollins then takes on Sting in another brutal match only to have outside interference cost Sting leaving Rollins possibly vulnerable to Sheamus. All sorts of ways they can go though. I brought up Undertaker as a possibility to interfere because a month ago I read that there was a rumor of Undertaker vs Sting for one of the PPVs. Since Undertaker and Lenar hasn’t ended officially perhaps something with Sting is down the road. The only thing I’m sure about is Rollins can’t lose both titles on the same night, right?
I never understood why the WWE never introduced a character who was a kayfabe wrestling lawyer. He could explain away illogical plot points and schmooze finishes with some legalese nonsense. Plus, he could take part in every contract signing.
I think the Bellas are popular enough that they don’t need get in the ring much anymore. Which is fine since I don’t think they’re quite as talented as the new crop of women wrestlers. Whatever happens, I really hope somebody pulls a Medusa and drops the hideous Divas belt in a trash can somewhere. You want us to take women wrestling seriously? Start calling them wrestlers and give them a belt that doesn’t look like a butterfly (amongst other things).
Oh I agree but for me neither Owens or Cesaro needs to win a belt in order to be pushed. Although Cesaro has been around long enough that he should have obtained an individual belt by now. Certainly before Ryback.
I’m a WCW fan I loved their stuff but the Monday Night Wars were probably the time for wrestling fans especially with the crossovers.
As for the titles everything you mentioned sounds plausible but I think that’s WWEs problem. So many possibilities due to so many story lines between guys. In all honesty I keep hoping for a SHIELD reunion. I would have thought the Wyatts would represent the perfect opponent and reason but Rollins is to busy individually.
I hope Gary_Owen doesn’t see your comment!
I just thought that watching this week. It would make zero sense, but how great would it be if Rollins just showed up as the mystery partner? Yeah, I’ve got two very important matches tonight. Yeah, I’m defending two championships. Yeah, I hate you guys. But this is too cool to pass up.
True they reportedly want to take their acting to a larger audience. Like you said with the new crop of female wrestlers I don’t think they’ll be missed. And that Divas Championship is pretty ridiculous I agree. Never understood the butterfly.
Maybe if what you suggested earlier happens and Rollins feels he’s been done wrong not once but twice ya know not given the respect he’s earned by The Authority maybe he says screw it I’m gonna help my boys out in the SHIELD and we’re gonna run rough shod over the whole place both as a group and individuals. That would be interesting. Reigns and Ambrose need Rollins more then Rollins needs Reigns and Ambrose IMO.
http://www.cagesideseats.com/2015/9/17/9342543/rumor-roundup-sept-17-2015-the-rock-wwe-return-lana-rusev-reunion-sheamus-cash-in-night-of-champions
A lot of that makes sense. Lana turning on Ziggler and Rusev turning on Summer seems like it would work and get those two back their old heat.
Sting beats Rollins then Sheamus beats Sting? Sting can retire having been a WWE World Champion without having to do a title run at nearly 60. Since Sheamus is supposedly HHH’s favorite behind the scenes, maybe we’ll also get the Authority turning on Rollins for a better “face of the company” too.
All I want is Owens to win, the New Day, and Rollins to win both his matches. Is that too smarky of me to ask? I am so far past Cena hate I don’t know where to start-except that we all know he pulled strings backstage to make sure his woman retained her title. He’s Hogan Heavy backstage.
Is that proven? I don’t know if I buy that. It seems like the WWE is pretty behind the Bellas to begin with. Doesn’t seem like they need any convincing to have kept one of them as champ.
You don’t buy that? I certainly do. I think part of it is AJ Punk’s title reign and another part Cena with backstage politics. They put a Diva’s revolution in place, have a fantastic title match pre Summerslam at the NXT show, and have the Bella’s running around talking about how wins and losses don’t matter. Cena has more pull backstage then he leads on to (aw shucks I just do what my boss tells me, which is classic Hogan), and I would not put it past that man to grind the ax in the back.
The prominence of the Bellas and Nikki’s current title reign seem like pretty obvious examples of the McMahons being the McMahons.
Chance to stick it to Punk and Family in a very obvious, petty way? Classic Vince.
Push the good looking performer over the talented wrestlers? Again, classic Vince.
Nikki has the type of look and crossover appeal that the WWE always looked and hoped for in their performers. It’s been 30+ years of this sort of thing. I really don’t see Vince saying, “But Charlotte is such a better technical wrestler”, only to have Cena convince him to keep the strap on Nikki.
Basically, there is no need for Cena to pull strings for her.
I’ll also make the argument that, while the execution has been absolutely piss poor, having Nikki retain the belt for this long has been the right decision. It should be a chase, she should be obnoxious, she should cheat, she should duck challengers, and she should take as much credit for the “Divas Revolution” as possible.
Of course, now that they’re finally letting her actively be a heel and develop some interest in the title, she’ll probably just drop it to Charlotte on Sunday.
I just wanna know when WFNY will be giving me my damn statue I so richly deserve! #best4business
Well yeah, she’s a much better heel. They (Im assuming WWE and Nikki) did not want to present her that way. Im just soured with her and the Cena politics-watch her matches when she loses compared to when she wins. She’s not a consummate pro.