When you live in a world with Amazon.com and professional sports, you just know that you’re going to end up with some really bad team branded products. Those products get searched out this time of year as potential presents for giant sports fans, no matter how ludicrous. In fact sometimes the more inane they are, the more likely they’re chosen as gifts. With that in mind, I decided to identify these gifts and open them up for commentary by WFNY writers and alumni.
Without further ado, I bring you the first of this series… “Fan Cake.”
Craig: I’m not sure what sets this helmet-shaped cake pan apart as being specific to the Browns, but if you ever do finally heed Phil Savage’s advice, it could just as well be a Buffalo Bills fan cake pan.
Craig: When I think of the Cleveland Browns, I definitely think of cake. Like the Browns, cake is soft, delicate, requires a delicate balance of ingredients to end up being truly great. And like the Browns, cake will more than likely make you feel badly about yourself if you have too much.
Denny Mayo: After everyone laughs you out of the room for having a cake pan shaped like a football helmet, you can just flip the cake around and say that it’s a dented mold that was the shape of Ohio. Because that’s somehow less embarrassing than being an adult who owns a Cleveland Browns football helmet-shaped cake pan.
Rick: Gifts that say “here, now go make me something” are always a good idea.
Brendan Porath – The label also markets this as use for a “concrete garden stone.” It’s a versatile item.
Dan Parker: Does it come with oven mitts so that you don’t grab it out of the oven and chuck it underhand to the other team?
Kirk: The pan may be designed for cakes, but this organization has been baking brownies since 1999.
Kirk: Bake, freeze, mold, AND create?! With that skillset, we’d be stupid NOT to use a first round pick on it!
Kirk: If you can use it to make gelatin desserts, does it come in “right guard”? Pretty sure that’d be an upgrade over Lauvao and Cousins.
Ryan: Does the Leon McFadden number 29 toast maker come separately? Or is production on that still a long way off?
Of course, your own jokes are encouraged in the comments. There are nine more of these coming your way between now and Christmas. You’re welcome.