Kelvin Sampson On Cavs’ List – But Where?
May 28, 2010Jim Brown No Longer “Officially” A Browns FO Man; Could Paul Warfield Soon Follow?
May 28, 2010jimkanicki did it. He made this post muy fantastico. Abbreviated video form here, words later:
Nobody who reads this post is perfect, unless my wife is reading it (awwwwww…). We all have our faults. Rick posted his yesterday, and I’m posting mine today. I grew up Catholic, so I know all about the confessionals and also passive-aggressive guilt, which is pretty much the worst. It’s been a goal of mine to not be passive-aggressive, and so this will be good for me. Honesty is like the best policy. Also, I know some a lot of all of you a number of people that hang ’round these parts don’t particularly like me. Here’s more fodder.
1] I really am apathetic towards the Browns. To me they’re like an absentee father. I always heard about them growing up, but the years that I would have really latched on to them (age 11-15) they weren’t around. I’m pretty much dismissive of the NFL as a whole because of this. That, and I wear black nail polish and may or may not be classified as a “cutter”.
2] I absolutely HATE when people claim that their team/city’s fans are more [passionate, knowledgeable, heartfelt, INSERT POSITIVE QUALITY HERE] than every other team. There are knowledgeable fans in every fan base. There are also a lot of absolute morons out there. For every team. They’re pretty evenly dispersed around the country, from what I’ve gathered. We’re not any better or worse than any other collective fan base. So stop it.
3] I despise ‘superfans’. Anybody who dresses like that is doing it for attention. They deserve none of it, unless it is coming from a pissed-off pit bull.
4] I don’t find any of the LeBron commercials funny. It’s not that commercials don’t work on me – pretty much any commercial about running gets me motivated. I just don’t find any of the LeBron commercials funny, at all.
5] I’m a joke snob. This being the case, I’m tired of all donut references. Inside jokes aren’t funny any more when someone screams the punchline any time Delonte West is shown in a picture. Internet jokes just get run into the ground way too fast these days, and usually have a halflife of about a day. Case in point: Bros Icing Bros has totally jumped the shark :'[
/Puts on ten year old Adam Sandler album
//Photoshops an orange bear into yet another picture
/// Something, something, Jake Locker
6] Kind of along with no. 1, I have no issues whatsoever with the Steelers. My dad’s from Pittsburgh and never has gloated or anything about the Steelers being better than the Browns since the Browns came back. They’re a solid, solid franchise. If the Browns could be like them, that’d be great. My mom’s from Philly and cares zero about sports, so being a “first-generation” Northern Ohio sports fan kind of gave me a blank slate of teams to choose from.
7] In four years at OSU I missed most of two football games that I had tickets to. One game I fell down some stairs the night previous (because they were wet, the booze had nothing to do with it) and likely had a concussion. It was a game against Sparty in 03 and nothing noteworthy happened. My senior year I got to a game late in the second quarter against SDSU (or SJSU), watched two offensive series and left to go have more sodie-pops. In hindsight, both instances were probably the correct decision.
8] I’ve never listened to sports radio. Well OK – I’ve listened some. It just seems like pure crap to me. The endless negativity is absurd and does nothing but anger people. I prefer to be chill.
9] I’m a standard OSU fan – I don’t follow basketball really until it’s time for the Big Ten tourney. In my time at OSU I went to three basketball games. Never had a lot of fun at those three and I never got hooked.
10] I’m glad that I live outside of Ohio. I miss out on seeing sports live, but I also don’t have to deal with [as much] of the mind-numbing wailing and grinding of teeth that happens during the bad times. It’s unbearable. I had to shut down my Twitter client during the Boston series a few weeks ago because I can’t stand all the negativity that comes from some folks. At least I wasn’t surrounded by sulking people the next few days in my everyday life. Everyone around DC was largely apathetic towards things, and it made my life a lot easier.
10] I’m becoming a semi-observant Nationals fan. It seems pretty benign to me – I live 15 minutes away from Nats Stadium and can walk to a game from home. The park is beautiful, the weather is good, and it’s pretty cheap. Why not take in a decent number of games and follow another young, crappy beisbol team? I’m no mathematician, but I figure the odds of an Indians/Nationals World Series are astronomically thin. Like, thinner than 50 Cent these days.
11] I’ve never been to an NFL game. I’ve been to NBA games, MLB games, and college football games, but I’ve never been to an NFL game. I know, I know. This is where you’ll all be like “DERP DERP DENNY GO TO A BROWNS GAME AND SEE THE TRUE FANS IN ACTIONNE!” It still falls in line though – I’d rather take the money I’d spend on a trip to Cleveland to go to a Browns game on a trip to Columbus to see the Bucks. I’m not against the idea of going to an NFL game, but I’d rather spend what little money I do have on going back to the old stomping grounds.
12] I’d rather watch a track and field broadcast or a marathon broadcast over an NFL game. Before you crucify me I live out of the Browns broadcast bubble and will only get one or two games a year (last year it was one). I’d rather watch a track meet than a random NFL game. HOWEVAAAA, I’d rather watch a random college football game than anything else.
13] I miss Lloyd Carr. I mean this completely sincerely. He was a fantastic college football coach. There’s more to college football than the games – the teams are an extension of the university that they represent. Lloyd Carr was a fantastic representative of the University of Michigan. I also miss Michigan being good. Not so good that they would neccesarily beat them Bucks, but they’d at least make a game out of it. I REALLY don’t like seeing the other marquis program in the Big Ten being a dump.
14] I cheered for Michigan once when it was Lloyd Carr’s final bowl game. I did this partially for spite towards UF, but mostly because I wanted to see Carr go out a winner. When they won, I was happy for him.
I think that’s it. Now feel free to fling poo at me all you want.
41 Comments
That was pretty boring.
hey Denny, have you heard the one about Delonte West and his missing guitar?
Denny may or may not be my hero.
(BTW, I keep me my Jake Locker, you keep your cutesy foreign accents/misspellings, deal?)
Alao, a question for any “superfan” – if your team loses, don’t you feel like a putz walking out of a somber stadium in that outfit with your face painted 10 colors? Maybe that’s why you start yelling at traffic.
Crypto-Steeler fan I see….and you’re emo…didn’t think you people liked sports..
Denny, unmasked, it’s cathartic
I like pilsners (way) more than I like baseball
Swig, it’s time for a haiku, please.
I disagree with #2. I don’t think anyone should ever walk around spouting superlatives, but I think it is pretty easy to recognize certain fanbases as being completely more bettererer than others.
It is easy to see that St. Louis Cardinals fans rank pretty highly. Boston Red Sox fans, no matter how obnoxious, are good fans. Patriots fans? Not so much.
You get my point. I think the conversation is awful, but I think it is quite obvious that some fanbases are discernible as being better than others. You just shouldn’t say it about yourself.
Denny, I’m with you on the rooting for Michigan when they played Florida a couple of years ago
1. As far as being apathetic to the Browns. The Browns have never been the same to me since d-bag (err… Modell) moved the franchise. They were my number 1 team as a child/teenager and a large part of my fandom died the day they moved.
13. I miss Lloyd Carr too, but only because I loved how he mistreated every sideline reporter he ever came across.
I, too, would prefer to watch college football over any other sport. I guess that leads to my confession. I never attended Ohio State (but was born and spent a good portion of my youth in Ohio) and consider Ohio State football my favorite team (in all of sports). This makes me feel a bit like a Notre Dame-esque subway alum and hate myself a little.
Nationals games are pretty cheap? Maybe to get in to them, but $8 for a Bud Light?
“I’m tired of all donut references. Inside jokes aren’t funny any more …Internet jokes just get run into the ground way too fast these days, and usually have a halflife of about a day.”
Does this mean NK has reached it’s retirement age? Or do we get a reprieve on that one?
WFNY readers are the most passionate, knowledgable, heartfelt, and other random positive quality readers in all of blogicity.
I don’t know about fan bases in general, but the Yankee fans I know are clueless and virulent. They’re always suggesting wacky trades that benefit the Yankees… Joba Chamberlain for Joe Mauer! The Twins will do it because you always need pitching! Not to mention that in public places, i.e. the gym, they put up a fuss if you turn on the NBA Finals over the Yankee Classics on YES.
They don’t even know Yankee history. Some of them would say that Jeter is the best Yankee player ever. Or that George Steinbrenner is a wonderful human being.
NK will never die. It’s inside enough to be ours forever, Clem.
I get annoyed when people put “/” in front of whatever it is they claim to be doing.
Lucky Bar in Dupont area usually broadcasts all the browns games.
I must confess that this commenting account is also actually Denny. I just created it to raise the number of comments on my posts and make myself seem funnier. You should have picked this up by now from the clues, such as that both of these “people” are from DC.
It also allows me to complement myself more frequently.
/Narcissism
This was not your best stuff but,don’t worry happens to most ML pitchers all the time.
BROWNS ARE GOOD!! RUNNING IS GOOD!! TWITTER IS GOOD!! And jumping the shark has jumped the shark.
@16
Chris, apparently it doesn’t take very much to annoy you.
/whatever
Denny I’m a senior at OSU now, and I agree 100% about #13 and #14.
I pretty much agree with all of this….except the parts about watching marathons on TV.
I live in DC. Also becoming a mild Nats fan. Just as easy to cheer for the bad team that plays 15 minutes from my house as it is to cheer for the bad team 6.5 hours away.
Go to the games on Thursday nights – I think they have $5 Miller Lites then. Could be wrong though.
I do declare, I kept reading hoping to hear about the Office.
Anyone who posts NBA players photoshopped with animals their names sound like, is a ok with me.
For someone who is a self-proclaimed joke snob, you sure do try to squeeze a lot of mileage out of the way, way overdone “caps lock as sarcasm” meme.
One time I had a sip of Fizzy Lifting Drink.
@ Turk – it is a communicational tool.
@ Tom – maybe we’ll do a WFNY East meetup at a Nats game or something.
@ DCBucks – I usually drink enough at home to do 2 beers max at the game.
@ Tim – I know Lucky Bar has the games. I saw a girl with a sliced open hand there one night and now have a mental block about the place.
Okay, so Denny hates most sports, he hates most sports fans, he really hates most people who visit WFNY, and, most of all, he hates himself.
So the only reason he has a job here is that it gives him an opportunity to bitch, to be bitter, and to tell all of us how much superior he is to the rest of us.
God, I love him.
i was able to find an excerpt of denny’s confessional..
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6670277/
Wow. This is amazing.
Well I usually read Denny’s words in my head with a stilted British accent anyway, so this is perfect
Its like looking into my own mind…
Also the retro-resurgence of the word “awesome” has to stop.
You dont care for the Browns? Poor choice, but whatever-it’s yours.
But you should go to an NFL game. Go check out the Redskins. They have a great gameday experience. couldn’t you get a media pass? Write a “track and field loving joke snob’s first NFL experience with the dredges of society” piece.
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I think I’d rather take a dump on my carpet and clean it up rather than watch a minute of a marathon on TV.
? why is this putz blogging on a sports website he doesn’t even seem like he likes sports? Go talk about politics or something.
You’re not funny.